A very lonely bride...

And there I was. Stood at the altar. Hair blowing in the gentle breeze. A bride waiting. And waiting. And waiting! No bloomin groom to be seen haha! Well at least I got to stand at an altar 'like' a bride.

In all my time here my neighbours have changed constantly. First there was a polite quiet American boy. Then a loud and fun American boy. Then a group of six very loud Mexican men. Now a young couple with a small baby. Who next I wonder? Maybe a tall dark handsome stranger...

The second batch of army boys arrived on Friday and happily there were some closer to my age bracket. Such is I took up their invitation to 'hit' the town last night. We walked the whole length of the town looking for a decent restaurant, and then walked the whole length of the town again back to the first one they had seen. It was like dress shopping with a girl! We then headed to some kind of beach night club where everyone was in Halloween fancy dress. Or maybe they weren't.

I met a man with a dog in his bag. I met two very muscular teenage mutant ninja turtles. And I watched a man on the dance floor dancing with a small baby (definitely a pulling tool, he had a crowd of girls around him cooing). I also impressed myself by matching the boys beer for beer, although I am suffering for it today. The army boys were really good fun and kept the banter going all night. And they made sure I got home safe and sound.

Off to the beach now, see if I can find me a groom...

An interesting marriage proposal...

The first bunch of soldiers left yesterday afternoon. Their departure time was 2.30pm and they arrived at the beach bar at about 10ish and ordered drinks until 2.29pm. They must have all spent their entire wages over the two days but all seemed to have a ball and didn't want to leave. Their banter was limitless and they kept me quite entertained at the bar. They were such a good laugh, I was sad to see them go. The next bunch arrive tomorrow...

Yesterday I was proposed to by a 22 year old married father of three. I was rather touched by this proposal! And compared to my previous day's offer of 'you wanna bedtime story lady?' I feel I've gone up in the world.

I am still struggling to find where I fit into this tropical island. I'm not a young backpacker, I'm not into any water sports, I'm not half of a honeymoon couple and I'm not a laid back retired local. I really am the odd one out here! My days are lazy and long and give me plenty of time to think (probably too much thinking). My evenings are quiet and lonely, I'm not too good at the club scene and have declined the kind offers from some lovely people to take me into town. So I've spent most evenings trying to write my book. It's all a bit jumbled up at the moment kind of like a jigsaw that I will eventually piece together. But I am really enjoying writing it, and reliving some amazing memories...

Even the army can't save me...

I've now lost count of how many mosquito bites I have. That rather expensive bug repellant I was convinced to buy has had little effect. And my antihistamines are pretty useless. I'm now wearing an ankle band that makes me look like a criminal wearing a tag. Those little buggers are determined to get me! Besides the Mosquitos the wildlife here is quite friendly, I've met a few wandering around!

The army boys have now arrived and they too have been bitten to pieces so even the army can't save me! They arrived last night but sadly their average age is about 22. They are a lovely bunch and are full of banter and it has been so nice to have some local dialect conversation. I felt I was beginning to pick up a strange American accent and using words like 'awesome'.

It's funny how I've met such a diverse amount of people here on a daily basis and yet I feel so alone. Everybody seems to be here either with someone or for a reason, usually scuba diving. I wish I could have brought Milo, every day I feel like I've lost a limb or something.

My biggest fear at the moment is what am I going back to.  I can't stay here forever. I feel homesick but I don't actually have a home. I would really like to keep travelling in my motorhome with Milo as I do still believe my happy ending is out there somewhere...

Moth...

Barbecues and trampolines...

Found myself a lovely little breakfast place today on the beach, and they even open at 7am. So I behaved like the typical British holiday maker and ordered an English breakfast. It certainly hit the spot and the coffee wasn't bad either. I stayed at The Amber Beach Bar a little later than intended last night so the breakfast was thoroughly deserved.

The local people here hang their washing out in such abundance and ever so neatley that on more than one occasion I have nearly walked into their homes thinking it was a boutique!

Next I headed down to the trampoline at the end of the pier at Caribbean Villas. I waited until the small children got off and then made my rather unladylike clamber onto the trampoline. Yeay I felt like a five year old! I didn't actually last very long but was impressed with myself that I had done it. This was followed by a good few hours lying by the pool with my new book. Then came the barbecue. I had pork chops, potato salad and corn bread all rather tasty and all backdropped by DJ Debbie with some pretty good tunes. I was drinking light beer but this has now been switched to rum and coke by Mr L, I just hope I don't end up back on the trampoline...

Apple flavoured bananas...

Life is so laid back here in San Pedro. I wake up, I find coffee, I head to the beach, I read, I drink, I eat and I sleep. And that's about pretty much all I can manage in this heat. It took me a few days to acclimatise to the humidity and actually catch a breath. From travelling from Scotland where every breath was so sharp and fresh the difference is immense. Good point here is I don't need moisturiser, my skin is so soft with the humidity.

Last night was karaoke night at Pedros. I did not inflict my fellow guests to the torture of my voice. There was a mixture of some rather good performances and some not so good. I had a few beers and met some local ladies, actually of an age with me. A good night was had.

This morning I went to a local store/shack to buy some fruit. I asked for bananas and was sold Apple banana. Really was a banana looking fruit which actually had an apple taste, so nice.

I didn't actually get on the trampoline today. I did wander down the pier to attempt it but there were some big boys playing on it and they looked a little boisterous. I will attempt tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Sunday barbecue at Caribbean Villas Hotel, a weekly event which is apparently very popular. I do love a good bbq.

I spoke to my son today on face time. I've asked him to send me some pictures of Milo. I miss him so much it hurts. I doubt he has even has noticed I've gone, probably thinking I'm taking ages at the shops.

Having so much time to think of late I am wondering how I even ended up here. My life has changed so much and so quickly, half of it hasn't sunk in. In less than six months I've gone from a well paid job to unemployed. A three bed semi to a motorhome to a country estate to a hotel. From single to fairytale relationship to single. From Merseyside to Scotland to San Pedro. What next I wonder...

Three men one knife, one dagger, one metal bar...

Last night was ladies night at Pedros. So I showered and dressed and wandered down. Not only was I the only lady I was also the only customer. Apparently these type of nights don't start until around 11pm, I had arrived at 8pm. I am obviously far too old for this kind of night life! 11 pm nowadays is way past my bedtime. So I headed back to my room but disaster... I couldn't open my door. A pole had fallen down and jammed against the sliding door. I stood there for what seemed like an age trying to figure out how I could resolve this without looking like a fool.  Sadly I just looked like a fool and acquired the assistance of three young men, one of whom had a large metal bar, the other a kitchen knife and the third just pulled a large dagger from his pocket. One held the torch one pulled the door ajar and the third (kitchen knife man) slid the knife through the gap and dislodged the pole. My three heroes :) After all that excitement I was ready for bed and slept through the remainder of ladies night.

Today I spent another day in paradise and headed down to Caribbean Villas Hotel to chill on the beach. As soon as I got there I decided I had to try the newly installed water slide, the only one on the island falling straight into the Caribbean Sea. I followed the instructions diligently, hands behind my head, legs crossed and lie down. Unfortunately I was not instructed to keep my mouth closed. I slid all the way down screaming like a baby and consequently swallowed about a gallon of sea water!

So now I am just chilling at the beach bar getting acquainted with the locals and mum if you're reading this I am not doing jäger bombs...

Tod the rasta man...

Met Tod whilst walking on the beach last night. A rasta man who told me about the 'spirit of the flesh'... He then offered me 'the herbal drugs'... He had with him a dog named Claire. I told him all about Milo...

My Yorkshire puds were not a great success. I had no weighing scales, no cake tins and the whisk packed in part way through whisking. They were described by one person as 'meaty'. Arsenal did win though.

Today the sun shone bright and hot. I spent most of the day on the beach reading my book. I ate angel pasta pesto chicken and drank light beer. I watched a boy surfing with a parachute, really quite impressive.

Today my air conditioning was repaired after it packed in last night. When I returned to my room it was like being greeted by a huge hug, I am so happy. My neighbour Mr B also knocked on my door with a gift of water melon. Life is good...

Thunder storms and traffic violations...

This weather is crazy. I was so freaked in the thunder storm the other night I was screaming out loud. The building shook with the thunder and the Lightning was right above me. The tin roof did not help my fear. The rain was so torrential I packed a small bag ready for my evacuation! Anyway I lived through it and awoke to a dry muggy day.

I took myself into the town in a golf cart to hunt down a decent coffee shop and found the perfect one on a busy street corner. I was in my element watching the world go by sipping a decent latte. I stopped in a shop and got myself some new flip flops, then I drove around a bit in the crazy bustling streets and pulled up near the beach. I had a little wander along the storm damaged beach and stopped in a bar for a cold beer and food. I did struggle trying to remember where I had parked the golf cart, there are hundreds of them here and all look the same. I did eventually find mine, it was the one with a 'traffic violation fine' attached to the steering wheel! Mr L kindly took care of it for me.

Last night was to be the bingo night, but everyone got wrapped up in the sport on the TV (baseball I think!) so bingo didn't happen.  After too much beer and jäger bombs I hit the sack for an early night.
Today we are having a big lunch hosted by Mr L in honor of his much loved Arsenal football game. We are having roast hams and potatoes and I have been volunteered to make the Yorkshire puds! (I pray they rise to the occasion).

Mr L has informed me that over the next week or so hundreds of army personnel are coming to stay. Now that could be interesting...

Lunch view...

Do I look like I need marijuana...

Well I finally got the sleep I was craving last night, a whole 12 hours horizontal on crisp white sheets. Although I discovered the road behind my accommodation is actually the airport runway! Luckily not too busy and actually quite interesting.

I've managed to face time all my family and all are well.  Milo seems to have settled in well with his nana and she even took him to the park this morning. I still woke up this morning wondering where he was :(

This morning I was given some keys to a golf buggy and instructed to head into town and get myself some breakfast. Never mind find the town I couldn't find the golf buggy. I decided to walk in as even though the rain was still falling I could see some unflooded areas on the road.  I walked to the nearest bar and ordered coffee and fries.  My coffee was so needed and so delicious (apparently a Turkish blend) I ordered another. At this point I was on first name terms with the staff and was also offered marijuana..! Not quite what I had in mind for breakfast.

I managed to find my way back just before the next torrential downpour. The road I managed to walk down is now an actual river and I am stranded in my third floor room! It is so warm and clammy and the rain is like a warm power shower. I feel so sorry for all the businesses trying to constantly pump out all the water. Looks like I am stuck inside for a while so may just catch some more shut eye...

Not the place I was offered marijuana...

My back door view...

Jet lag and jager bombs...

I am completely jet lagged. I don't know what day it is or what time. I have taken five flights from Manchester to Heathrow to Detroit to Atlanta to Belize to San Pedro and here I am. I haven't slept for days and now am knocking back beer and jäger  bombs at a beach bar in a storm with new friends.  How long it will be before I sleep I don't know.  I have managed to shower at least. I was so stinky I didn't even want to sit next to myself on the flights!

The flights were varied and a mixture of pure comfort and terror.  The best was from Heathrow to Detroit. Eight hours with full inflight service, free food, drinks and movies. But unfortunately followed by 11 hours sitting around in Detroit airport. I think I was possibly the only person in that airport but managed to make myself a little bed and tried to sleep. I kept waking up and for a split second kept wondering were Milo was :(

When I eventually reached Belize, smelly, tired, confused and hot I thought I had reached my destination. But no, I then had to jump a light aircraft to San Pedro. Hairy scary flying through the storm with the other five passengers. One of whom is now sitting with us at the beach bar.  I was met at San Pedro airport by my Mr L, he picked me up in a beach buggy and was bare foot. We took the short journey to my new short term home through the floods. I then paddled through to my room and took a much needed hot shower.

I apologise if this blog is disjointed, I'm sure once I get my backside out of this bar and eventually get horizontal I will be back on track, though any more of these jäger  bombs and I am likely to be horizontal on the bar...

Travelling through the USA....!

What a crazy, happy, sad and emotional 24 hours I've just had.  On Wednesday night I received a ticket to travel to Belize, going via Detroit and Atlanta and am on route now.  I will arrive in San Pedro, Belize at some point tomorrow :)))) Milo and Me left Scotland at about 2am on Thursday morning and drove all the way to my mums, Milo was quite bemused travelling in the dark.  We arrived on the Wirral at about 8am where I had about 24 hours to turn my life upside down once again to get to Heathrow for today.

Sadly yesterday morning my beautiful sister Pip became seriously unwell and given her medical history my mum and I took her to A&E.  It appears she had some sort of seizure and has no recollection of the past 24hours (fun was had winding her up tho!). I was reluctant to travel today but my whole family, Pip included, encouraged me to keep travelling.  So here I am, sitting in Heathrow airport, having flown down from Manchester very early this morning (thanks mum!) waiting to board my flight to Detroit.

Milo is having a Nana holiday and will be spoilt rotten no doubt. Or I may come back to an extremely well behaved dog! Last night at about midnight I practically just threw what summer clothes I could find into my case, and tried to arrange all the necessary documents.  Hopefully I've remembered all I need, if not tough!

Saying goodbye to Milo this morning was the saddest moment.  We've been together 24/7 all summer. I do know he will be well looked after though.

So expect some crazy blogs over the next few weeks and no doubt some even crazier photos. I intend to have fun fun fun and who knows who I might meet...

On the off chance does anybody reading this live in Detroit?! Got 11 hours to fill...

When one door closes...

You know that saying - when one door closes another one opens - I just drove down the road in the beast and my passenger door flew open scattering the contents off the seat all over the road! I went to push on the hazard warning light button and it came off in my hand! Luckily still attached to the wire so able to flick on.  I then had to embarisingly so, walk back down the road and collect my belongings. A foot further on and my door would have hit a road sign so always the positive.  And the hazard warning button looks rather cute hanging on the wire.

So I've hit the road again, literally.  My friendly stranger was the perfect host but I felt the need to move on.  I don't quite know where I'm going so am writing an early blog today in case I have no internet tonight.  Once again I am blessed with some beautiful scenery on my route.

Last night all those sheep I saw being brought down from the hill by the shepherds were placed in the field under my bedroom window.  What a racket they make! I never knew sheep made so many different baa noises. They seemed a little bemused by Milos appearance this morning.  I like to think the photo looks like Milo has herded them all together!

Once again I've received some wonderful messages, one in particular especially so...

A sheep or a shepherd...

I'm alive, the stranger didn't murder me and is now a friend! Although I suppose friends can commit murder too. Anyway I've had a very peaceful day, took Milo down to the beach and he had a massive swim.  The sun has been shining all day and I have a rather rosy face. I tried to climb the hill behind the house this afternoon and could only manage half way! I am so unfit I need to stick to flat ground. I did get a stunning picture of below even if it wasn't from the top. I did also get to witness the shepherds and their dogs herding in all the sheep off the hills,  not an easy task and well worth seeing.

I am feeling a bit sorry for myself today. It's my sons birthday and all my family are together and I'm up here wandering around watching sheep. I wish I was with them today.  I need to seriously get my head together and decide what I intend to do with my life. I seem to be at a crossroads and just cannot  decide which way to turn and with my sense of direction it's likely to be the wrong way!  I could possibly train Milo and become a shepherd...

Man in my van...

Last night was pretty dismal. My friend lent me a decent selection of DVDs because I can never get a signal on the TV. I chose one and got all cosy to watch it but the bloomin TV has broken! Then my peaceful spot was disrupted by the arrival of four yapping dogs in the van next to me, escalated by the owner shouting 'quiet honey' every two minutes. Plus, when did a tin of beans get to be so expensive?! Anyway I read a few more chapters of my new book (passionate thriller!) and went to bed. I woke in the middle of the night and saw a man in my van! I whacked my head on the ceiling trying to find my claw hammer under my mattress by which time my eyes had adjusted and the said man was actually my coat hanging from the sky light trying to dry!

Took Milo for a lovely walk in Killin and got some fab photos.  I got one of a fairytale castle I had visited previously on my travels, still no prince lurking about! I also got one of a tree that reminded me of a childhood book The Faraway Tree.

Tonight I have travelled along an extremely long, narrow and winding road and have arrived at a safe destination on the coast.  I am staying with a stranger but I do believe strangers are friends you just haven't met yet...

No more hitch hikers...

I was woken up by Milo this morning by him diving under the duvet and wriggling all the way down to the bottom and diving onto the floor.  This exercise was repeated until I got out of the bed! Just after 11am this morning whilst walking Milo a car stopped and asked me for directions. It was a Dominos pizza delivery man, making me think some poor person was in need of a hangover breakfast! Not me I was up bright as a button and raring to go. I spent most of the morning replying to all the messages of support I have received, I still feel overwhelmed by people's kind words and positivity. Messages from people I least expected to hear from and none from people I would have hoped to hear from...

Just after lunch I left my besties with an enormous hug to keep me going on the road.  I'd forgotten how beautiful the start of Autumn is.  The colours of the trees are just gorgeous.  I'm so lucky to be on the road taking in this scenery.  Funny that I saw a hitchhiker on the road and he actually pulled his thumb in when I approached, haha he has probably read about Milo and Me!  I'm now pitched up for the night in a rather peaceful spot but have no phone or internet reception.  So I  have wandered down to the local village pub and am taking advantage of the free wifi before it gets dark.  I was sitting in a very quiet lounge area until two gentlemen arrived and are now having a rather loud discussion about the amount of cushions on the sofa. Think it's time to head back to the van and tuck myself in for the night...

Our peaceful spot...

Me and the final straw...

Woke up this morning wondering where the heck I was! Was still at besties (my final straw) and nursing a rather dull head with Milo lying on top of me. Milo actually gave me a lie in, practically 7.45am. So, fed Milo and sat in garden having at least four cups of coffee until the rest of the household woke up. Took Milo for a walk around the block, which I must say is rather a nice block. Then I received a message from my sister enquiring if I'd  seen the Daily Express newspaper?!

Must say rather well written by Adrian Lee.  Although he did write about me being unable to find the can opener, he omitted to mention that was the evening I found a box of maltesers as a rather good substitute. The Big house held many surprises...

Heyho chucked on some dark sunnies and headed to the town to watch the rugby, good result too. Now back at my temporary residence eating a pretty dismal curry carry out and wondering whether to rejoin my friends in the pub. Kind of think I'd rather have a bubble bath and curl up with Milo, but then again don't want to miss out on any fun!

Tomorrow I will stick a pin in the map, fire up the beast, pull the choke out, put my right foot down, wait about ten minutes, close all windows to block fumes, chug forward slightly, release choke half way, chug a bit further and then blast off into my future...

Me and the final straw...

Curl up with Milo...

Good friends and good wine...

My what a crazy 24 hours! Needless to say I have now hit the vino, but am in the company of good friends :)

Last night it appears my 'breakup' went global... Various media sources have been contacting me to 'tell' my story for various amounts of cash! Promising to be sensitive and discreet. Fact is my story is sensitive and not an easy one to tell, so best kept discreet.

I'm now quite content laughing at the comments in the press saying  that I look like his mother or have slept my way around Scotland because I know what his mother looks like and Scotland ain't that big.

Messages of support and love are still pouring in and I am so grateful for all the moral support. Milo and Me are really very lucky to have so many good friends. We left our campsite today and once again got lost finding our way. We were so lost looking, a young boy on a horse asked us if we were looking for the Campsite I felt so stupid I said I was looking for the nature reserve... He looked more confused than me!

So Milo and Me have holed up for a few days with good friends and good wine. We have received an extremely kind offer, offering us sanctuary for as long as we need on a beach. Obviously given my previous folly this offer requires serious deliberation! My blog seems to grow arms and legs...  So for now Milo And Me are keeping our feet firmly on the ground and taking life an hour at a time...

The fact is...

Last night I walked to the local restaurant which was advertising 'pets welcome'. As soon as Milo and I walked in I was met with "you can't bring him in no dogs allowed"... Duh! We went back to the van and as I hadn't been shopping I was presented with a tin of chicken curry a bag of tagliatelle and a tin of rice pudding. It was all actually quite nice! I slept quite well last night, had forgotten how comfy the van was.

We pottered about most of the morning and then went to the local village for lunch and shopping.  Milo and Me shared a lovely bowl of chicken noodle soup and then got lost trying to find our campsite.

Sadly I'm writing all this with apprehension after stupidly reading comments from the papers. I wish I hadn't read them as once again I am the bad girl and Mr P is the victim. I didn't even know it was in the papers until my son messaged me, apparently they can print anything from my blog (hi!). On a good note every single personal message I have received has been nothing but positive and uplifting. The rotten comments are written by the anonymous. Fact is only Milo and Me know the truth.

So tomorrow is another day and who knows where the road will take us. I like that fact...

Lunch date

Today's back door view

'Just' Milo and Me...

I'm wondering to myself how on earth do I write this today...  I'm wondering how to explain a bucket full of emotions in one blog entry... I'm wondering how I will be perceived...

So I will just write like I always have. This is me and I am no longer with Mr P. It's over. Finito. Ended. Gone.
It really is an unusual story and one that I am unable, at this point, to share in full. Mr P was a good person as am I. Sadly we couldn't be good together.  Sometimes it's just as simple as the person you thought you knew just isn't... But you think to yourself I can deal with this, I can make this work, I won't give up. Then you realise your not coping, it's not working and you have to stop. I chose to end this for both our sakes.

I truly thought I had found my fairytale ending. I was so happy for a moment in time. I did believe I nearly had it all. Oh how wrong was I...
Relationships break down every day for one reason or another.  Mine has been no different and yet so different I don't think I'll ever be able to understand it. The people close to me have an insight to a small percent of what happened, the rest is just a mess in my head! So I'll just box it all up and figure it out one day...

I've spent the last couple of days holed up in motels with my mum and Milo. Felt like Thelma and Louise on the run hiding away! Yesterday morning at breakfast I put a croissant in the rotating toaster. It burst into flames and nearly set the motel on fire! This morning there was a large sign saying 'do not put croissants in toaster'. So I took a pre warmed one out of the heated oven and started to munch on it when a gentleman came over and asked if I was enjoying 'his' croissant that he had put in the oven to warm!

Tonight I am back on the road. Milo and Me are camped up in the Beast trying to clear our heads.  We have no idea what to do next or where to go.  We have no plan. I for one am feeling pretty scared for my future and am hoping I will wake up tomorrow with a bloomin good idea...