This is what I'm doing...

Today I've reached 3% at being fluent in French. But have yet to practice this fluency! I'm thinking of wandering off for a bit in the Beast, that is if I can defrost it. It's under cover but the water is still frozen it's so cold here. Saying that the sun seems to shine here nearly everyday, apparently the sun shines on the righteous!

I've just returned from the local shops, obviously squeezing in a coffee (seems I drank Richards coffee, who's Richard?!) and am now sitting in the garden with the dogs. Between the two of them I never get a minutes peace, they only seem to settle down in the evening and with me being a morning person my writing is a bit of a slow process. But writing I am. I think I mentioned I'm rewriting my blog from Milos point of view, and I'm so enjoying re reading what I got up to. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe all that has happened in less than two years.

Yesterday I was invited to join a facebook group Scottish Motorhome Wildcampers as I was the evenings discussion topic. There was a link to a media story, you know, the one where I lived in a castle with a Laird! Anyway I wish I'd joined this group when I was actually in Scotland, they're such a lovely crazy bunch of people, I fit right in.

I spoke to my bestie in Portugal today and said I was feeling I wasn't achieving much. She quite rightly told me that I had set my mind to do what I wanted and that was what I was doing, plain as. Some people choose to climb Everest, some a career, some a family. Me, I chose this. And this is what I'm doing. This. See dictionary definition...

Milo looking a bit scared in the sunshine...

Richards coffee...

Scottish Motorhome Wildcampers let me join...

'This' is what I'm doing...

A percentage of me speaks fluent French...

On Thursday I managed to find my way to the local town and back without getting lost. I bought some groceries in Aldi and had a coffee in the town square. I was not chatted up by any amorous French men, in fact I was the only customer in the cafe, other than one person at the table next to me and to be honest I couldn't decide if they were a man or a woman! I had a little wander around and found a lovely little chocolate shop and an oddly named florist!

I've been on my own for a few nights as Le Garçon and L'homme have returned to the UK. Night one was a little scary. I'm reading a murder book in bed and I hear rather loud scratching in the eaves above my head. Then Bear starts barking to be let out and convinces me there is a murderer in the trees. After checking all doors locked I grabbed the fire poker and headed back to bed, where Milo was sleeping like a baby.

Last night I took myself to the local bar as they had live music playing. I thought it may distract my vivid imagination and provide a more peaceful sleep. I think the fact that  it's January and unbelievably cold not many people turned up. The band were good, The Monkey Tonk Blues, and they had a monkey with them. They played some good tunes all of which I knew. They chatted inbetween and as I couldn't understand a word they were saying I must have looked rather disinterested. My online French lessons are continuing and, drum roll, I'm now 1% fluent in French! Maybe I should have worn a badge stating that.

Today I'm planning on doing some writing, which means me being very strict and not tuning into Netflix or staring out across the fields daydreaming of my happy ever after...

Feeling proud...

Mortagne au Perche...

Yummy... 

Do I need Fanny Fleurs... 

The Monkey Tonk Blues... 

Learning to speak flirty French...

I've signed up with a learning French website and must say I found the most difficult part was creating my password! I'm struggling with tenses 'she ate the apple' 'she is eating the apple' but as long as she gets to actually eat the apple I'm happy. Le Garçon, whom I'm staying with, is helping me with my pronunciation.  Poor Le Garçon, I tried to give him a lift to the school bus stop on Monday but I couldn't get the car into reverse so ended up taking him in the Beast, not cool jumping out of the Beast in front of school friends. Tuesday, we spent so long trying to de-ice the car (of which I can now reverse) that the bus had left already so I had to take him to his school. Took Milo too, so he got a little nose around.

Milo and his new doggy friend, Bear, are getting on a bit better. He only seems to bark at Bear every 20 minutes as opposed to every 5. They even fell asleep 'near' each other in the sunshine yesterday, after I pursuaded Milo sitting on my knee is not an option. All I need to do now is teach Bear how to retrieve the ball and not eat the ball!

The last few days here have been freezing, like minus a million! Not helped by Milo and Bear wanting to play in the garden every ten minutes. Thankfully we have central heating and even an electric blanket. Tomorrow I'm planning to venture to Mortagne au Perche and have a mooch around the town. Must remember to download google translate onto my phone, you never know I may get chatted up in a cafe by an amorous French man...

Frosty morning in France...

Clingy Milo...

A more relaxed Milo and Bear...

What's left of tennis ball...

Settled in France...

I've so far practiced my limited French with a campsite owner, a man at the toll machine, a waitress and a man offering to help me when I was lost. With lots of hand movements and pointing I'm managing to get by. I travelled quite a distance on Saturday and arrived at my current destination Saint Jouin De Blavou, only after realising my satnav does not understand St and only Saint. I'm staying with a wonderful family in their gorgeous rural home, and this will be my base for the time being. The surrounding area of Normandy is for Milo and me to explore over the coming weeks.

I've already been to the local bar and met some of the locals who made me feel extremely welcome. They also hold a jazz night every Friday, I love Jazz thanks to my Dad. I went to the bar on Sunday and they were selling fresh French baguettes from a basket at the door, so quaint.

Today I've pottered around the house finding my feet and feeding my compulsion to clean! Milo is coming to terms to living with his new doggy friend. He is behaving like my protector and barking a lot, or he is jealous, not sure. They seem to get on better in the garden so I'm praying this rain holds off.

The Beast is having a well earned rest after his traumatic experience. When he was being 'operated' on I was sat in the driver seat and saw and heard everything. It was like being awake during open heart surgery! I'm sure I felt his pain haha...

First morning in France...

A view on route, not sure where!...

Milos new buddy... 

The Beast resting... 

Eventually arriving in France...

What a turbulent two days I've had. I awoke on Friday 13th to a blanket of snow at the campsite. Milo bounced around like a little lamb loving it. Sadly the Beast didn't. I just couldn't start the engine even with the campsite manager trying to help me. So I had to call out the RAC man, again. And yet again he was lovely (different man). He eventually got my engine running but was quite concerned about my alternator not properly working. He advised me not to drive to France with it so made some calls and then we followed him to a recommended garage for necessary repairs. The necessary repairs  have left a massive hole in my budget and brought tears to my eyes handing over my credit card. It was not a pleasant experience at the garage but that's another story. I missed about four channel crossings and had to be rebooked each time. Dover centre had a huge one way system and various diversions to confuse my satnav. All in all an unpleasant day.

I eventually caught an early evening crossing to France. The train in the tunnel is a weird experience. I think Milo was baffled that we were moving but I was sitting in the back with him. I just tried not to think of all that water above us. The roads in France are a pleasure to drive on and I think I did rather well for a first timer. I did cause a bit of chaos at the first toll as I wasn't quite in line with the machine so couldn't get a ticket. I eventually reached my campsite Camping Bal Caravan Club Site, near Calais late in the evening (I forgot about the hour difference) so it was pitch black. Straight to bed we went and slept like logs...

Milo loving the snow...

Boarding the train...   

In the Beast, on the train, under the water... 

Pregnant and waiting for the RAC...

I'm sitting in the Beast waiting for the RAC. We left our 'carpark' in Hemel Hempstead this morning. It took five hours from the Wirral to get there, lots of traffic but I enjoyed the drive. As it was getting dark we pulled into a Toby carvery carpark which seemed lit up and safe, just not very pretty. Got myself a very reasonable priced coffee at Subway this morning and then hit the road about 9.30 am.

After crossing the Dartford bridge (which I must remember to pay for online) my battery light on the dashboard lit up. I kept driving as it was flickering on and off. It was like a pregnancy test stick at one point 'is it lit or not' I decided I was definately pregnant so pulled into the next service station and googled my symptoms. It's either alternator, battery or corroded wires :( Google told me it affected my electrics so I decided I had to choose what to turn off. I chose to keep my headlights and wipers as it was piddling down, wrapped up like an Eskimo and turned off the heaters. Not sure if that was correct but made sense to me! I managed to reach my campsite near the Channel Tunnel.

Anyway my campsite is lovely. The Black Horse Farm Caravan Club site in Densole. Surrounded by fields full of bunny rabbits, keeping Milo very entertained. And the facilities are spotless.  Im now waiting for my knight in shining armour. Two hour minimum wait. I did read a story once were a lady fell in love and married her breakdown recovery man...

Update... RAC man been and gone. I have a 'dodgy' alternator and we are not getting married! Although he was a lovely man :)

The Beast and the RAC van...

Milo doing the dog walk...

The campsite on a good day... 

Leaving the UK... Again...

I can't believe I'm off again already. It's the last night for Milo and me at my mums as we head off, slowly, to France tomorrow. I've planned our route (which will no doubt go out the window at some point) and booked some sites through The Caravan Club, one near Dover and one near Calais. I've spent the last couple of nights sleeping in the Beast but Milo the little rascal won't come out of my mums house! He follows me into the van but when he realises we're not driving off anywhere he heads back to the house. Maybe mums central heating has something to do with it. Anyway I love being in the van, I'd forgotten how comfy my bed is and have slept like a log.

Tonight we're having, another, goodbye meal for me at a local restaurant. I think my family are probably fed up constantly waving me off. Or fed up I keep returning! I'm lucky my family are always there for me and Milo, I do appreciate them.

Well fingers crossed all goes well tomorrow and I haven't forgotten anything of importance. I did buy a French phrase book today so hopefully it might come in handy. My biggest fear just now is driving on the right, in a right hand drive, slow, large, Motorhome without power steering. But Heyho its all part of the adventure...

Frosty morning on the Wirral...

Sleeping alone in the Beast...

Travelling with a dog a cat and a ferret...

Preparations for France are well under way now. Our tunnel ticket is booked, although I don't know how Milo will feel about travelling with a ferret and a cat! We cross the Channel on Friday the 13th, which is a lucky date for me. I've got my motor travel kit, including hivis vests for Milo and me. The Beast has had a thorough spring clean and is looking rather damm good inside. So we're pretty much ready to go! Eek!

I really don't know what France will offer me. I do often wonder what I'm doing with my life. I do question my sanity on a regular basis! But I do believe life is full of opportunities if we are willing to explore them. And explore them I will. I think to feel a little fear every day is to feel alive. So off we go MiloandMe on our next adventure. I've read up a little on the French men and they are considered 'the holy grail of international lovers' 'sex is something of a national sport for French men' oooh lala!

Even if I don't find the man of my dreams in France I'm sure I'll make some lovely new friends.  Already my lovely new friends in France have opened up their home to MiloandMe and offered us a safe haven where I can at last concentrate on my writing. I think at this rate I will have a triology of books...

Just Milo, honest...

Oooh lala...

Reunited and it feels so good...

Yeay I got the Beast back! Such a good feeling. He's been tucked up in storage for the last six months and had a well earned rest. I did worry he wouldn't be pleased with me and play up a bit, but no, he drove like a dream and seems to be in good nick. I chatted to him on the journey and apologised for leaving him so long. Now parked up at my mums and receiving some well deserved tlc.

Milo seemed happy to see the Beast and bounced from couch to couch. He has spent all day watching me out the window no doubt worrying I will drive off without him. As if ! My mum saved all those little bags of beads you get inside packaging when you buy new products. And I think having them scattered all over the van kept it fresh. My mums been a star, putting up with me and Milo, and she's just recently had a hip replacement, which is difficult for her as Milo follows her all round the house. That's mainly due to the fact that although she discourages me from feeding him extras she secretly gives him all sorts of titbits. Sirloin steak yesterday.

My son very kindly came over to walk Milo today. And also, very kindly, brought two shirts that he needed ironing. I laughed out loud, and then yes, I did iron them. Made me feel like a proper mum again, for a moment...

Hugging the Beast...

Love my little family...

Goodbye 2016...

2016 has been good to MiloandMe. In the beginning I was working as a waitress (in a cocktail bar ~*~ haha) on the Wirral and living in the Beast in mums back garden. Then we headed off to Ireland in the Beast on a fantastic adventure. We met some wonderful people and stayed in some stunning locations. Everyone was so friendly and kind to us, we were truly blessed. Picking up hitchhikers, responding to social media messages and just engaging in conversation with random strangers opens up a whole new world if you let it. Obviously common sense and gut instinct play a part. And having Milo bark like a fog horn keeps me safe. Sadly Ireland ended all too soon but was quickly followed by the opportunity to travel to Portugal. The journey there and back was a bit stressful for both Milo and me, but we had the best time there. We quite possibly lived in the most beautiful part of Portugal, Foz do Arelho, and became part of the most loving family. And now here we are back at mums on the Wirral about to enter 2017 and embark on our next adventure. Heading to France in the Beast for pastures new.

My regrets for 2016 :

I didn't take my Motorhome with me to Portugal. Missed that Beast so much.
I didn't kiss anyone. Mr Hunky giving me the kiss of life when I passed out drunk doesn't count.
Losing my UK IP address, so I never got to see our TV appearances.
Not doing more writing, lost my mojo for a bit.
Spending my 50th birthday alone, note to self big celebration for 60th!
Running a pretty rubbish budget, far too skint now.
Not getting married. Compensated by attending the best ever wedding in Portugal.

Goals for 2017 :

Embrace the Beast
Kiss a lot!
Get tech savvy
Write, write and write some more
Party like its 1999
Win the lottery
Get married...

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, thank you for all the wonderful messages and words of support. Thank you for being my 'invisible friends'. MiloandMe wish each and everyone of you a Happy New Year...

An early photo from 2016...

A favourite photo from Ireland...

A favourite photo from Portugal... 

My last photo of 2016. If you want to get a head get a hat... 

MiloandMe on UK soil...

Gosh I can't believe my adventure in Portugal has come to an end. The last six months have gone by so quickly and yet I feel like I've been here forever. I've been made to feel so welcome and have made some lifelong friends. Ali is the craziest lady I've ever met but I wouldn't have her any other way.  Gran has had to put up with all my moans and groans and is also holding some of my deepest secrets. Max, I'm sure, will miss Milo even though he behaved like a boring big brother. Ali's children are a credit to her and have made me feel like part of the family. And then there's the beach... MiloandMe have been so fortunate that, on a daily basis, we were able to walk along the lagoon toward the Atlantic Ocean here in Foz do Arelho.

Hmm, the above passage was written yesterday and my intention was to post it on my last night in Portugal. Unfortunately Ali and Mr Hunky decided to celebrate my leaving with copious amounts of alcohol and my day ended with my head in a bucket and Mr Hunky not quite holding my hair back. So I awoke at 4am this morning with a banging head and a smell of vomit in my hair. I frantically finished my packing and headed to the airport with Ali. The whole process of getting both Milo and me checked in and boarded was stress hell. But I'm happy to say we both arrived safe and well in the UK. My son picked us up at the airport and I must say he gets more and more handsome with age. As Ali would say 'my creation' lol. So now I've just had a lovely family meal, a big bubbly bath and am curled up on the couch in my pj's. Milo has passed out on the floor by my bed, no doubt wondering what on earth will happen next...

Home for Christmas...

One week today and MiloandMe will be home for Christmas. Although when I say 'home' it's not quite home. But being with family it will certainly feel like home. Even if only for a few weeks. Then to fire up the Beast and drive off to France. People have been asking me how France came about? Truth is I put an ad of MiloandMe  on gumtree and got some quite good responses. I think I've become a nomad of late, not quite sure where I belong, but certainly enjoying finding out.

I'm dreading the flight home. Flying out to Portugal Milo didn't have a clue what was going on and just went with the flow. But I fear our return journey will rekindle a memory for him and he's not going to be happy. At least he's going to receive a wonderful welcome home. For some reason my mum informs me 'we're not doing presents this year' Er no! Christmas with no presents! What's that all about? Even the smallest gift is fun to give and receive. So mum, get routing in that unwanted gift drawer you have and wrap me up something useless haha!

I'm totally looking forward to Christmas Day this year. All that yummy food, alcohol, daft board games, silly chat, new pyjamas and the obligatory photo of the dinner table. Oh and then the clearing up, the belly ache, the hangover and the 'that's it for another year'...

The only Christmassy photos I can find of Milo and me...

MiloandMe off to France...

And for our next adventure...drum roll...France! MiloandMe have been offered the opportunity to live in northern France. We are driving over in the Beast in January and will be located in a rural area surrounded by countryside. I must say I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends, enjoying Christmas and going to live in France but I am mostly looking forward to getting back in the Beast. I've missed my Motorhome so much and I think that's down to it being all that I have left. I'm so glad I didn't sell it, I reckon it's going to give me a big hug feeling when we are reunited!

I still have to pinch myself when I reflect on what's happened to me in less than two years. I never could have imagined all these adventures could happen to an old girl like me! I feel like I've lived my life back to front. It's normally young adults who go off travelling, taking up casual work and living for the moment. Hitting fifty has been life changing for me. I've been extremely fortunate I know, and yet I also know I can credit myself for making it happen. There have been so many days when I think 'what the heck am I doing?' (most days tbf!) and then I tell myself this ain't a dress rehearsal, go with the flow whilst you can.

So off I go, again! Portugal has been amazing, I've felt like part of the family at the big beach house and will miss everyone dearly. But now it's time to concentrate on my writing and get that book out of me! And who knows...meet my French Prince Charming...

BTW... http://www.channel4.com/info/press/news/interview-with-ardal-ohanlon
MiloandMe appearing in episode 1 Wednesday 14th December at 9pm More 4, when I met Willie the matchmaker in Ireland. I can't watch it in Portugal, fingers crossed I don't look like a complete idiot!

Going to miss this beach...

Think Milo will miss it more...

Going to miss these wee faces...

Can't wait for this...

I may yet become a gangster...

I'm so enjoying writing Milos version of our adventure. I've already written the first month of my blog. It appears Milo and I are quite alike, although my focus was finding the man of my dreams whereas Milos focus was and always is about food! Maybe that's why I'm still single, Milo doesn't want to share his food.  But at the same time I do believe he has always had my back.

I've had little feed back from my ad on gumtree. I did receive a request to provide a gentleman with a regular 'massage' stating he would be happy to visit my home. I don't think I'm quite ready to turn the Beast into a portable brothel just yet! I'm also sharing a page with a man advertising himself as a gangster, proclaiming never to have grassed in his life. Maybe I should contact him and suggest a Bonnie and Clyde setup.

My worst news this week was a gruesome tax demand from the inland revenue. I'd be most unhappy if I ended up in that Thai prison due to unpaid taxes, maybe I will contact Clyde...

Me and bestie being gangsters...

Advertising alongside gangsters...