Goodbye 2016...

2016 has been good to MiloandMe. In the beginning I was working as a waitress (in a cocktail bar ~*~ haha) on the Wirral and living in the Beast in mums back garden. Then we headed off to Ireland in the Beast on a fantastic adventure. We met some wonderful people and stayed in some stunning locations. Everyone was so friendly and kind to us, we were truly blessed. Picking up hitchhikers, responding to social media messages and just engaging in conversation with random strangers opens up a whole new world if you let it. Obviously common sense and gut instinct play a part. And having Milo bark like a fog horn keeps me safe. Sadly Ireland ended all too soon but was quickly followed by the opportunity to travel to Portugal. The journey there and back was a bit stressful for both Milo and me, but we had the best time there. We quite possibly lived in the most beautiful part of Portugal, Foz do Arelho, and became part of the most loving family. And now here we are back at mums on the Wirral about to enter 2017 and embark on our next adventure. Heading to France in the Beast for pastures new.

My regrets for 2016 :

I didn't take my Motorhome with me to Portugal. Missed that Beast so much.
I didn't kiss anyone. Mr Hunky giving me the kiss of life when I passed out drunk doesn't count.
Losing my UK IP address, so I never got to see our TV appearances.
Not doing more writing, lost my mojo for a bit.
Spending my 50th birthday alone, note to self big celebration for 60th!
Running a pretty rubbish budget, far too skint now.
Not getting married. Compensated by attending the best ever wedding in Portugal.

Goals for 2017 :

Embrace the Beast
Kiss a lot!
Get tech savvy
Write, write and write some more
Party like its 1999
Win the lottery
Get married...

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog, thank you for all the wonderful messages and words of support. Thank you for being my 'invisible friends'. MiloandMe wish each and everyone of you a Happy New Year...

An early photo from 2016...

A favourite photo from Ireland...

A favourite photo from Portugal... 

My last photo of 2016. If you want to get a head get a hat... 

MiloandMe on UK soil...

Gosh I can't believe my adventure in Portugal has come to an end. The last six months have gone by so quickly and yet I feel like I've been here forever. I've been made to feel so welcome and have made some lifelong friends. Ali is the craziest lady I've ever met but I wouldn't have her any other way.  Gran has had to put up with all my moans and groans and is also holding some of my deepest secrets. Max, I'm sure, will miss Milo even though he behaved like a boring big brother. Ali's children are a credit to her and have made me feel like part of the family. And then there's the beach... MiloandMe have been so fortunate that, on a daily basis, we were able to walk along the lagoon toward the Atlantic Ocean here in Foz do Arelho.

Hmm, the above passage was written yesterday and my intention was to post it on my last night in Portugal. Unfortunately Ali and Mr Hunky decided to celebrate my leaving with copious amounts of alcohol and my day ended with my head in a bucket and Mr Hunky not quite holding my hair back. So I awoke at 4am this morning with a banging head and a smell of vomit in my hair. I frantically finished my packing and headed to the airport with Ali. The whole process of getting both Milo and me checked in and boarded was stress hell. But I'm happy to say we both arrived safe and well in the UK. My son picked us up at the airport and I must say he gets more and more handsome with age. As Ali would say 'my creation' lol. So now I've just had a lovely family meal, a big bubbly bath and am curled up on the couch in my pj's. Milo has passed out on the floor by my bed, no doubt wondering what on earth will happen next...

Home for Christmas...

One week today and MiloandMe will be home for Christmas. Although when I say 'home' it's not quite home. But being with family it will certainly feel like home. Even if only for a few weeks. Then to fire up the Beast and drive off to France. People have been asking me how France came about? Truth is I put an ad of MiloandMe  on gumtree and got some quite good responses. I think I've become a nomad of late, not quite sure where I belong, but certainly enjoying finding out.

I'm dreading the flight home. Flying out to Portugal Milo didn't have a clue what was going on and just went with the flow. But I fear our return journey will rekindle a memory for him and he's not going to be happy. At least he's going to receive a wonderful welcome home. For some reason my mum informs me 'we're not doing presents this year' Er no! Christmas with no presents! What's that all about? Even the smallest gift is fun to give and receive. So mum, get routing in that unwanted gift drawer you have and wrap me up something useless haha!

I'm totally looking forward to Christmas Day this year. All that yummy food, alcohol, daft board games, silly chat, new pyjamas and the obligatory photo of the dinner table. Oh and then the clearing up, the belly ache, the hangover and the 'that's it for another year'...

The only Christmassy photos I can find of Milo and me...

MiloandMe off to France...

And for our next adventure...drum roll...France! MiloandMe have been offered the opportunity to live in northern France. We are driving over in the Beast in January and will be located in a rural area surrounded by countryside. I must say I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends, enjoying Christmas and going to live in France but I am mostly looking forward to getting back in the Beast. I've missed my Motorhome so much and I think that's down to it being all that I have left. I'm so glad I didn't sell it, I reckon it's going to give me a big hug feeling when we are reunited!

I still have to pinch myself when I reflect on what's happened to me in less than two years. I never could have imagined all these adventures could happen to an old girl like me! I feel like I've lived my life back to front. It's normally young adults who go off travelling, taking up casual work and living for the moment. Hitting fifty has been life changing for me. I've been extremely fortunate I know, and yet I also know I can credit myself for making it happen. There have been so many days when I think 'what the heck am I doing?' (most days tbf!) and then I tell myself this ain't a dress rehearsal, go with the flow whilst you can.

So off I go, again! Portugal has been amazing, I've felt like part of the family at the big beach house and will miss everyone dearly. But now it's time to concentrate on my writing and get that book out of me! And who knows...meet my French Prince Charming...

BTW... http://www.channel4.com/info/press/news/interview-with-ardal-ohanlon
MiloandMe appearing in episode 1 Wednesday 14th December at 9pm More 4, when I met Willie the matchmaker in Ireland. I can't watch it in Portugal, fingers crossed I don't look like a complete idiot!

Going to miss this beach...

Think Milo will miss it more...

Going to miss these wee faces...

Can't wait for this...

I may yet become a gangster...

I'm so enjoying writing Milos version of our adventure. I've already written the first month of my blog. It appears Milo and I are quite alike, although my focus was finding the man of my dreams whereas Milos focus was and always is about food! Maybe that's why I'm still single, Milo doesn't want to share his food.  But at the same time I do believe he has always had my back.

I've had little feed back from my ad on gumtree. I did receive a request to provide a gentleman with a regular 'massage' stating he would be happy to visit my home. I don't think I'm quite ready to turn the Beast into a portable brothel just yet! I'm also sharing a page with a man advertising himself as a gangster, proclaiming never to have grassed in his life. Maybe I should contact him and suggest a Bonnie and Clyde setup.

My worst news this week was a gruesome tax demand from the inland revenue. I'd be most unhappy if I ended up in that Thai prison due to unpaid taxes, maybe I will contact Clyde...

Me and bestie being gangsters...

Advertising alongside gangsters...

Our next adventure will be, here...

Many years ago when my son was very small he went for a drive with my Dad. My Dad had stopped the car and my son asked him "what's wrong Gag?" My Dad replied "we're lost" to which my son replied "we're not lost Gag, we're here..." I love that little conversation. I love even more how my Dad, God rest his soul, proclaimed nobody could ever be lost again. I often feel lost and then I remind myself I'm here, and probably exactly where I should be at any given time.

It's also like when people get really angry or frustrated when they are stuck in traffic or not being served quick enough at the checkout. I like to think it's not a delay, it's a reason. Maybe I will miss a forthcoming car crash due to my delay. Or maybe I will bump into a long lost friend due to my holdup.

So that's my outlook on life for today haha! My glass isn't half empty my glass isn't half full my glass is always refillable! And now I just have to decide what to fill my glass with. Milo and me are returning to the UK on December 22nd, Christmas with my family and then figure out our next adventure...


Life is a long and winding road...

My best friend...

Where to next co pilot... 

Returning to the UK...

Funny how the smallest situation can change our whole personality momentarily. If I find myself in a restaurant I am a certain type of customer. I will always eat the tough steak so as not to delay my fellow diners by reordering. I will not call over the waiter and bother his busy schedule to refill my drink. I will not complain of the stained table cloth causing someone to get into trouble. I will do without extra mayonnaise so as not to seem demanding. But... If a small insect should land in my hair whilst dining... I become the customer from hell. I will scream hysterically, I will jump up and down, I will tear my own hair out. I will require every available member of staff to assist me in removing this creature from hell. I will demand a complete and constant inspection of my hair for fellow beasties. I will need reassurance throughout my meal that said creature is not still crawling through my roots. I must have plenty of hugs and understanding from my fellow diners and hear them repeat that 'no, I am not over reacting' 'I would be the same' 'your behaviour is perfectly rational'. Until I can return to my normal unassuming, quiet and mild mannered personality... Today's drama.

I am returning to the UK. Not because of above mentioned beasties! I do miss the UK and have done for a while now. Portugal has been good to me but it's not home. I don't quite know where home is other than I have had, my whole life, that feeling of wanting to go home. I've still got my Motorhome and I miss being in it. It's my own personal space. It's my safe place. And it's mine.

I've signed up with a house sitting website and am hoping some wonderful person will ask me to care for their rural home over the winter months, even if I just park up next to it and be a caretaker. Then Milo and Me will hibernate for the winter and I will write my book. And, if I don't win the lottery, burn twigs, eat pine cones and drink from a stream...!

I miss my Beast...

This could be why I am single...

This is the man I am searching for. I am happy to stay single if I can't find him :)

Physically

Tall or at least four inches taller than me. His eyes will be his main feature, they will draw me in with every look. His hair will be any colour but there will be enough of it to run my fingers through. Body hair is fine as long as not a carpet back. No tattoos would be good also no jewellery other than a watch, which he will always remove in bed. His body will not be skinny, his shoulders will be broad, his belly may have a small pot to match mine. His upper arms will be strong enough to lay my head on at night. His thighs will be that of a rugby player that will enable me to dead leg him with my elbow when he winds me up. His hands will be manly and clean, with a gentle touch. His bottom will be the cutest thing in my world, but not as cute as mine...

Personality

He will ooze confidence with an air of arrogance that he has earned. He will be intelligent and know words that have to be explained to me without making me feel stupid. He will have an organised mind but will be able to throw caution to the wind at a moments notice. A funny man who always gets the hidden joke. Warm and kind hearted but won't suffer fools gladly. He will know his strengths and yet recognise his weaknesses. He will be honest enough to admit another lady is beautiful but faithful enough not to stray. He will be able to read me like a book without revealing the end...

Status

His employment will be important to him. His salary will afford us a luxurious lifestyle but will not be the most important detail in our relationship. He will come from a large and loving family who will welcome me with open arms. He will have a wide and varied mixture of friends who will become my friends also...

Us

He will always be attracted to me and me him. We will always respect each other's space. We will love each other unconditionally. We will have a mutual trust but both will always have the insight of reasonable doubt. We will strive on a daily basis to work on our relationship without excluding the outside world. And most importantly, he will love Milo...

Fail to prepare, prepare to fail ;)...

I'll just sit here and wait...

MiloandMe According To Milo...

I've not been myself of late. Just feeling a bit down and out of sorts. Not helped with hearing 'you're  so lucky, you have nothing to worry about, you have sunshine, you live in an idyllic location' etc etc.
Kind of makes me feel worse and unallowed to feel this way. I do believe anyone can feel anxious at any point in their life. The millionaire worrying what size speedboat to buy. The beautiful lady up-keeping  her looks. The holy man loosing his faith. We all wobble even when we seem to have it all. We are all, at some point, just holding it together on the inside and yet being perceived as sane! I think everyone in the world is just on the brink of madness. But I wouldn't have it any other way :)

So I've been doing lots of soul searching and trying to understand me. Not an easy task as I constantly change my mind or just shut down. Difficult talking to yourself when you don't want to talk about it lol. I have realised that I'm a person who likes solitude and always thought I should never admit it. But I am admitting it 'I like my own company' there I've said it! That's not to say I can't and won't be a party animal, I just know which I prefer.

I've now come up with a plan. I've discussed it with Milo and he is all for it. I'm going to rewrite my whole blog MiloandMe According To Milo. Every entry will be how Milo perceived the days events throughout our adventure.  I'm really going to enjoy doing this and feel quite focused. Now all I need to do is find a suitable quiet, rural location to park up the Beast and hibernate for the winter and get writing. Anyone in the Uk with a spare field I can borrow? (preferably with electric socket!)...

Happy Birthday Milo...

Four years ago Milo came into my life. How he got here is quite a funny story. I'd always been adamant I wouldn't have a dog. I believed dogs should be in large families with someone at home for the dog. Having always been a single mum I felt it would be unfair on any dog living with me and my son. My son had different ideas and spent years mythering me for a dog. I always stood my ground.

One day my son asked if he could talk to me about something important. I was all ears but he said what he had to say was extremely difficult. I became quite concerned and said he could tell me anything as I love him dearly. He said he didn't know how to tell me. At this point I was thinking all sorts and said just spit it out! "Mum" he said "my girlfriend is pregnant"... My mind went into overdrive and all I could say was "PREGNANT??!!"  "No" he replied "but I'm  getting a dog"
"Yes" I replied "of course, let's get a dog"...

And that's when we met Milo. My son made all the usual promises that he would walk him before and after his work and I wouldn't have to lift a finger to help! Of course my maternal instincts kicked in as soon as we brought Milo home and I've yet to see my son pick up pooh.

Two years ago my son decided to move into his own place and there was a moment when I was terrified he might want to take Milo with him. But I think even he knew at that point that Milo and Me were inseparable. I never knew how much love I could feel for Milo. If it wasn't for him I would never have done what I've done. Milo makes me want to get up in the morning (mainly because he wants his breakfast!).  He's my best friend and I hope we get to celebrate many more birthdays together...

My Milo...

The anxiety of man boobs...

I am trying to figure out  how I am feeling just now and I think it is anxious. I feel scared for no reason. I feel sick without being sick. I feel a struggle to breathe.  Busy places freak me out. Sounds panic me. My thoughts are overwhelming or absent. I feel like I miss 'me'...All of which good old Google describes as anxiety.

I shouldn't feel like this when the sun shines every day, I am surrounded by wonderful people and I don't live a 9 to 5 life. But I do. And I don't like this feeling. Today I sat in a cafe watching the Ocean crash onto the beach and tried to zone out. But an old fat hairy man sat in front of me, removed his top, exposed his 'man boobs' and proceeded to whistle loudly and out of tune. I got in the Mouse and drove to the cliff top. I parked up and sat in the passenger seat where I tried to pretend I was in the Beast. I sat looking out the window at the same Ocean and imagined Milo was lying on the bed behind me. I could hear the waves and if I closed my eyes it felt like being back on the road. That is until a car pulled up right next to me blasting out some loud rap music.

So I'm now back at the big beach house, with Classic FM on my earphones, where it seems Milo has picked up on my mood and is behaving badly.

I'm not very good at talking about my feelings and find it easier to write them down. It's like therapy. So thank you to whoever is reading this as I feel better already! I know my main concern is, as is everybody's, is what my future holds. And it just seems a bit vacant at the moment...

Sometimes you just gotta scream...

Just Love...

Oooer... 

Family time...

Feeling a little lonely today. My sister Pip and her boyfriend left last night after spending a week here with Milo and me.  We loved having them here, especially as I'm so close to Pip, she just 'gets' me. And Milo was so happy having two people who adore him nearly as much as I do. It was also lovely having daily conversations spoken in English!

We did a fair bit of exploring, I also took them to all my favourite coffee stops. I even drove them to the market but silly satnav lady took us via a mountain and a farmers field. Best bit was spending a day on the beach like a proper holiday maker, sadly Milo is not allowed on the big beach. We even got in a tour of Lisbon city before their flight. Unfortunately I fell over twice, once over a small bollard whilst turning back to talk to them and then again whilst stepping (or forgetting to) through a doorway in a garage door.

I think they both enjoyed their stay at the big beach house. They both were so helpful in the preparations for the big wedding in three weeks. Casa Branca is so aptly named, we never want to see a tin of white paint again! I loved seeing them together as a loving couple. They were childhood sweethearts and reunited after over thirty years through Facebook. They are so happy together it gives me a renewed hope that I too could have that one day :)

I'm now starting to think about winter. My dream would be to find a house sit in a rural UK location and write my memoirs!...

Love my sis Pip...

Happy days...

Sisters... 

Lisbon and my new hat (thank you mummy)... 

 Yeay The Mouse... 

Fun in the sun... 

Milo and Me... Will we ever be three...

When I look back it amazes me how much has happened to me in just over a year. It mainly feels quite surreal. If someone had said to me 'this is going to happen as you approach fifty' I would have said "Hell yeah!"

I'm no different to anyone else who wishes they were in a loving and secure relationship. My dreams and ambitions are not out of the ordinary. Perhaps it's just the way I went about it that sets me aside...

In short: I left a full time job, I left my home of sixteen years, I sold practically everything I owned, I bought a motorhome, I started writing a blog, I travelled around Scotland, I made new friends, I lost old friends, I enjoyed a relationship, I lost a relationship, I travelled to Southern America, I moved into my mums back garden, I travelled around Ireland, I arrived in Portugal, I had my life documented through worldwide media. I'm having an amazing adventure at a time in my life I assumed would have been complete. Sometimes this feels like just the beginning.

 And all this happened with Milo, my best friend, by my side. I looked for love, I'm still looking for love, and yet I've had love by my side the whole time...

Met this little fella four years ago...

Always by my side MiloandMe...

Chatting up dead men...

Milo and me are getting quite excited as my sister Pip and her boyfriend are coming to visit us in Portugal next Monday.  Ali has a list of jobs for them to do for her in preparation for the forthcoming wedding at the big beach house (about five weeks away!) but I'm sure we'll still find time to have some fun. And I know Milo is going to be uber excited to see them.

I had a practice run to the airport today with hunky friend. We went to pick up his equally hunky friend who is visiting. I love airports but unfortunately we spent our time waiting in a petrol station so as to avoid extortionate parking charges. Makes me laugh here how people wander around the forecourt of petrol stations randomly smoking away. In the UK even if you use your mobile phone in a garage people think it will blow the place up. Anyway the airport run went without a hitch so fingers crossed I'll find it on my own when I go to pick up Pip and not end up in the Algarve. Or my illusive Thai prison!

We went to a garden centre at the weekend looking for a fountain, Ali ended up buying a selection of Buddahs which someone has now pointed out that they look like dead babies!
Me and Milo are still loving our daily walks on the beach, as yet still to find a handsome stranger. Although I did park up the Mouse this morning and noticed a man lying in the bushes in front of me. I did think he was possibly dead and upon closer inspection he may as well have been. The search goes on...

Me doing my Buddah impression...

Baby Buddahs...

Difficult to spot me here...

Dead man...