My tiresome midlife crisis...

I found a lovely little spot to camp locally this weekend and it was free. Add to that a mini heatwave and a lake for Milo equals good weekend for us both. The only mishap occurred when some kind of leaf landed on the van roof. It appeared to be one of those helicopter type leaves, sycamore I think. Anyway it sounded like a glass marble on a tin roof that I would have been unable to sleep through. So I climbed onto my folding stool, with a kitchen utensil in hand and poked my head out the kitchen sky light. I spotted the little blighter straight away and as I tried to reach for it with the spatulas an old gentleman wandered past, just at the same time as the stool leg snapped. I yelped out loud and hung onto the sky light with my legs dangling. The old man looked up and I'm sure I looked like some kind of mere cat in a zoo peering out at him. He gestured Bonjour and walked on by. Mean time I'm nursing a few broken finger nails. But I did manage to remove the leaf.

I've now decided to return to the UK. I've come to a decision that I'm having a midlife crisis and it has to end. I've been wandering around for nearly two years now and I'm tired. Tired of living out of suitcases or borrowed drawers. Tired of being a constant visitor everywhere I go. Tired of worrying how to fund myself. Tired of trying to figure out what it is I'm trying to figure out. And I'm tired of feeling tired. I've all but given up on finding the man of my dreams but I have come to realise that it's not as important as I first thought. I've had so much fun looking and if I'd found him on day one I'd have missed out on a whole big adventure. I've absolutely no regrets of what I've done on my adventure and wouldn't change any of it. But I feel it's time to stop for a moment, stand still and reflect. And then start the next chapter of my life...

Me, Angel of the North...

My broken stool...

Happy Milo...

Me as usual sitting alone on a rock...

Enjoying female conversation...

Milo and me went off for a little jaunt in the Beast this week. We found ourselves a little hidden gem in the form of Saint Ceneri Le Gerei. This is the prettiest village we've found so far. There are no shops and only about 140 residents. There are a few bars but only one was open this time of year. Luckily I'd stocked up on supplies from the supermarket before we arrived. It's funny but everyday lots of the supermarkets here close for a two hour lunch, can you imagine Tesco doing that?!

We got to the village and took a tiny narrow lane down to the river and parked up. We were the only Motorhome and there was no charge. We took a walk along the river up towards the church on the hill, stopping off at the little Chapel of Saint Ceneri. The Chapel is in the middle of a field beside the river, it's so quaint. We even got to sign the guest book. We walked back through the village getting a lovely photo looking down on the river. Back at the van a gentleman and his dog stopped to say hello. He was Ceephas and was an English artist living here with his wife Jennifer. He then invited me to visit his gallery and join them for a drink in the local bar. It was lovely to have some female, English conversation with Jennifer and  they have invited me to return. I also got to meet Le Garçons mother this week, who is lovely, and supplied more female conversation.

We had a gorgeous sunny day too and I managed to chill on the doorstep of the Beast and get a fair bit of writing done. Still so much to write though as I keep remembering so many different things as I go along...

Saint Ceneri Le Gerei

Walking by the river...

The Chapel...

The guest book...

The view...

The sunshine...

Yuk! he snogged his sister...

Washed hair, bit of lippy and a pair of high heels. Then off I went to meet Mr Handsome Stranger on our 'date'. And there he was, sitting at the same table in the same cafe, even wearing the same clothes. But, I noticed, as I walked towards him, his hand was gently rocking the pram beside him and he wasn't smiling at me but at his very much alive wife. Not quite the scenario I had in my head. He was supposed to arrive after me, clutching a bouquet of flowers, chosen to match the blue of my eyes, when he would bend down on one knee and declare he had been unable to stop thinking of me all week and would I give him the great pleasure of becoming his (second) wife...
I'd entered too far into the paved cafe area to walk on past and had to take the only available seat, directly in front of him. I then spent the next hour, with my back to him, listening to his happy family chatter. Although, as I couldn't understand a word they said, I  kidded myself he was chatting to his sister whilst cooing over his nephew in the pram!

Ha, back in the real world I left the cafe and took Milo for a walk in the park and was rather happy to find the park cafe open. I treated myself to a long, cold beer, the sun was shining and I felt a little happier. I even picked myself a small bunch of daffodils from the hedges, which I have placed on the windowsill of my 'conservatory'.

On my way home I got some bones for the dogs and managed to get some peace and quiet in the van to crack on with more writing. I've not done much writing this week as there are roadworks in front of the house. It actually feels like they are rebuilding the M1. I'm seeing men through all the windows and not a looker amongst them...

Flowers in the conservatory...

I don't need a man for flowers...

Cheers...

Peeking at the road men... 

Today I fell a little bit in love...

Saturday morning, I took myself off to the market again in Mortagne au Perche. The weather was a bit drizzly but the view from, my friend CLemons, cafe was a beautiful array of market stall flowers. And I must say the view to the left of me wasn't half bad either. A tall, dark, well dressed and extremely handsome gentleman sat at the table beside me. By his feet was an old fashioned straw basket holding his shopping, some flowers and some books. I decided to take my book, from my bag and pretend to read it, I was trying, discreetly, to glance to my left to get a better view of him.  That's when local old bag lady came and sat at my table. Very old, extremely plump lots of bags and very few teeth. She sat herself down and started chattering away to me. At first I was a bit annoyed but then my handsome stranger spoke to me and explained what she was saying. She just wanted to sit and rest her legs.

Then the handsome gentleman engaged in a conversation with me about the book I was reading. He told me he loved books and knew of a local book shop where we can exchange books for free and they also have English books. We chatted for a bit about the weather, the market and the general area. Then he drew me a map on a scrap of paper detailing the location of the book shop. When he stood up I noticed he had the most dreamy eyes, he was of mixed race, I don't know which race but he certainly won it. And I think that's when I started falling a little bit in love. Until Bang! I spotted his wedding ring as he handed me the love letter, I mean map. He said goodbye, it was lovely to meet me and that he was here every Saturday for coffee. Of course, being a little bit in love, I took that as a date. And when he left I started daydreaming about our future. I decided he was a lonely widow, he was taking the flowers to her grave, he wore the ring in her memory, on behalf of his grownup children, who just want him to be happy once again. With me...
Old bag lady agrees with me...

Second best view from cafe...

Streets in Mortagne au Perche...

Nearly a very expensive toll charge...

Milo and me have just returned from a few days exploring in the Beast. Can't say the weather was in our favour, it pretty much rained constantly added with Milo jumping in one river and two ponds thus providing us with a rather soggy van. But never the less we enjoyed ourselves. Although I must say I think France is 'closed'. Every town and village we visited was void of people and most shops or restaurants were closed. It seems the only hive of activity is in the bakers. They're on every corner and if you ever do see a person you can guarantee they'll have a baguette under their arm.

I was convinced when I arrived in France I would spend many sunny afternoons sitting in pavement cafes sipping proper French Latte, being amorously observed by handsome French men wearing berets. Today I sat in McDonald's with a happy meal surrounded by school children. But bonus was free wifi.

Our weekend was spent parked on the rivers edge in La Suze sur Sarthe. A very picturesque village albeit quiet. I did originally think I had the whole area to myself but a whole bunch of other motor homes soon parked up beside us. We spent our days walking by the river, reading, writing and cooking. Early mornings and early nights pure peace and quiet. Except for the church bells, they do love their church bells in France.

On our journey there I managed to set the satnav to avoid toll roads. Unfortunately on my return I found myself at a dreaded toll booth. For some reason my ticket kept popping back out the machine and standing in the pouring rain aware of the queue behind me I eventually pressed the help button. The usual language barrier ensued and when she asked me where I had come from I carefully planned my reply "Liverpool" I said, knowing full well that people very rarely knew where The Wirral was. Duh! Blonde moment. They obviously meant where had I joined the motorway not where I was born...

MiloandMe off on our road trip...

Our peaceful location in La Suze Sur Sarthe...

Neighbours...

Lazy Sunday's... 

Just two of many bakeries...

Milo my hero dog...

I've had an extremely quiet week all on my own. I'd like to say I've written loads for my book but I seem to have spent more time googling the right and wrong ways of doing this. It's all quiet mind blowing, past present tense, first or third person, never use That word, it goes on and on and just makes me question all I've written. But I am writing, albeit slow, with far too many coffee breaks.

It seems the only person who seems to miss me at the moment is my French learning website. They send me regular emails actually saying 'Nicci we miss you'. Them and the tax man grrh.

I had a fall out with Bear dog this week. I was standing in the field just minding my own business when I heard a strange noise. I looked down and Bear had cocked his leg and was peeing on my fake Ugg boots. He also pees on my van every morning and when Milo stops to do a pee Bear pees on top of him! Seems Bear has territory issues. I also found out this morning that hedgehogs scream. Well they do when Bear decides to play football with them. All rather distressing, for me and the hedgehog.

I entered Milo into a competition with Burns Pet food this week under the title of 'I love my dog because...' There were so many entries of all these hero dogs it was difficult to decide which one of Milos heroic stories to write about. So I chose just a few of his many. Can't understand why he didn't win...

Me writing in the Beast...

Somebody loves me...

I mean Come On! Hero dog... 

An American Werewolf in France...

Last night I decided to take myself on a night out. I'd remembered Climon telling me they had music in his jazz bar so I planned to head there. I think it's an age thing but as it got nearer to evening all I wanted to do was put my jammies on and go to bed. I actually had to force myself to go out. It's really hard walking into a bar on your own, especially not speaking the language. I pep talked myself on the drive there convincing myself this was all perfectly OK. I parked the Beast up in an appropriate getaway spot and walked towards the bar. Not before, when opening the door, dropping my mobile phone under the Beast and having to get a kitchen utensil to crawl underneath to try reach it! Hoping nobody saw me I confidently strutted down the street. I approached the bar from behind another building surveying the clientele. Unfortunately it had frosted windows and I probably looked like I was casing the joint. So I bit the bullet and just walked in. It was like that scene from American Werewolf in London, when they walk into the pub on the moors. Everyone turned round and looked at me but didn't say anything. I spotted Climon behind the bar and in my nervousness said Bonjour Lemon (a word association I'd used to remember his name) and ordered a small beer. After nursing my beer for as long as I could muster and casually reading all the posters on the wall I didn't quite know what to do. There didn't appear to be any music playing and I couldn't even listen in on others conversations. So I took the remainder of my beer and sat outside to finish. Then I made a discreet exit and headed home.

I am slightly impressed that I did walk into the bar and am confident I will do it again.

This morning I headed to Mortagne au Perche market for a little mooch. Seemed to be mainly fruit and veg and strangely lots of mattresses. I then found another good coffee stop and even got free wifi, that's a first. Tonight I'm cooking myself spagbol and have got me a 3 litre box of wine for five euros, sweet dreams...

How I used to be on a night out!...

Me casing the joint...

The rather quiet market, joking...

Last Valentine's Day alone...

Happy Valentine's Day to me! How sad that I can't remember the last time I celebrated this day. It's been far too long and therefore I must make a huge effort, to make this, my last one alone.
I do remember one, many moons ago, that ended quite badly. I was all dressed up to the nines, LBD, stockings, high heels and my hair all done up. Unfortunately ten minutes before we headed to our restaurant we had a pretty horrendous row. I think it was something to do with my son playing his music too loud, pretty lame on reflection. Anyway one thing led to another and the restaurant was cancelled and the evening was ended before it began. So feeling very sorry for myself I jumped in my car and headed to my nearest McDonald's and treated myself to a 'happy meal'. I reckon I was the best dressed customer in there that night.

I've just been into the town, Mortagne au Perche, for a bit of tlc shopping, chocolate/coffee/wine. Then I treated myself to a coffee in a little Blues Bar in the centre. The owner, Climon, was ever so helpful trying to get me on his free wifi but to no avail. Anyway we got chatting and he informs me they have Jazz and Blues music most weekends and that I should come along. Well I may well do that this weekend, put a bit of slap on and go tap my feet. Climon speaks excellent English so if nothing else a bit of conversation will be nice. And on a positive note, on my way home today I got lost and ended up finding myself the local McDonald's...

Happy Valentines Day...

My Milo always got my back...

Its a dogs life...

Milo and me went off exploring for a few days in the Beast. We found ourselves a lovely little spot beside a lake in La Ferte Mace. I originally tried to park up in the carpark but it had those dreaded overhead barriers blocking our entry. So I drove on a bit turning down a little country lane and found us a little oasis all to ourselves. We spent the next couple of nights in peace and tranquility :) Although at one point, later in the evening,  a few cars parked behind us and a bunch of young boys were hanging around. It's funny but because they were speaking French I decided it sounded lovely and imagined they were discussing which library books they had each chosen. Not for one minute thinking it was some kind of illicit drug deal occurring at my back door! Ignorance is bliss.

Milo loved chilling by the lake and obviously plunged in on more than one occasion. Not ideal having a wet dog in the Motorhome but it's his adventure too. There was even sand around part of the lake so we pretended we were on the beach, alas no bikinis only thermals and wellies. I got to finish reading my book, cooked our favourite tea, mince and mash, and watched some lovely sunsets. Then we threw on our glad rags, knocked back some cheap plonk and hit some clubs in town.... Kidding! I do enjoy being on my own, always have, it's only recently that I've realised its ok to admit that. Although I do wonder if that is probably my downfall and the reason I'm still, and more than likely to be, always single...

Dog tired...

On our little beach...

Parked up safe...

Strike a pose...  

One night of passion...

Le Garçon phoned me from the bus stop asking if I could drive to collect him. Not a problem I say, I'm on my way. That is until I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the mud. I'm in the lovely Mercedes van, which is apparently rear wheel drive, and I'm getting nowhere fast, except lower. I must add I'm not totally stupid, well not usually, and I did try my best. Low revs, reverse and forward, slight rocking, carpet under the rear wheel but all to no avail. I tried for that long Le Garçon eventually walked home and found me caked in mud and looking rather deflated. We abandoned the vehicle until help arrived. And help certainly did. In the form of two local farmers, two tractors, one digger, some passing road worker men and Le Garçons father. Between us all we eventually got the vehicle out the mud and onto solid ground, I say between us all, I kind of just stood there apologising.

This information is probably not going to put me in good stead for my Rust2Rome road trip. My team 'Range Pig' are possibly wondering why on earth they have me on the team. Good news is the Range Rover is a four wheel drive, or does that mean all four wheels will get stuck in the mud?! Oh well if nothing else I'm good for standing on the edge of the road requesting assistance.

I'm so excited about the Rust2Rome trip in June. I've been reading all the comments on the facebook group and there seems to be a fun bunch of people participating. Apparently on previous trips people have made life long friendships. I'd settle for one night of passion with a hot Italian man...

Stuck in the mud...

So excited...

Callipygous blondes and redheads have more fun...

Took Milo to Belleme forest yesterday and stumbled upon an interesting little Spring. I couldn't translate the description plaque other than something to do with donkeys and arsenic. With this information I decided not to drink the water, just in case. So we just headed further into the forest and had a little game of hide and seek, its all go in my world! On the way back we stopped at a little cafe and I tied Milo up outside and went in to order a coffee. Except I hadn't quite tied him up properly and he charged right in heading straight for the basket of baguettes. Only just managed to pull him back and apologise profusely to the staff.

This week I've been trying to make a conscious effort on my writing. But I'm a typical Gemini and am so easily distracted. I end up with so many pages open on my iPad, facebook being the worst. Why on earth I feel the need to know what someone, who I've never met, is eating for their lunch I'll never understand. Or finding my new favourite word on a Favourite words list. Which in case you're interested : Callipygous.  Then finding the Beyond Your Blog site which has given me even more encouragement to write. But it's all a bit like my adventure, peeking at websites or picking up hitchhikers, it's all relevant to who, what and where we are. I did come across MC1R website which is focused on redheads. Of course I had to send in a picture of Milo and hopefully he will be appearing in their April issue :) And I believe my team on the rust2rome rally are describing me on their page as glamorous sweet talking blonde. Hope I don't completely squash that illusion when they finally meet me...

Possibly the fountain of youth or certain death...

Hide & Seek...

Callipygous...! 

Is the book deal down the toilet...

I'm feeling pretty disheartened just now. More so because I've been rather gullible. I tend to believe what people tell me, tend to seek the positive and take on board others knowledge.
Early last year I was approached by a company who were extremely interested in publishing my blog adventures as a book. They were so enthusiastic mentioning sequel books, films and the like. They were even going to fly their people over to Portugal to do this. This communication went on for months, with a forever dangling carrot. They were always lovely when they told me things would probably happen next month. Well next month never came. And I've woken up and smelt the coffee! They weren't the only ones promising me deals. There probably was a 'book deal' at some point but the publishing world is really rather ruthless, confusing and full of many people like 'me'.

But not to be deterred I am still writing. Like millions of people out there I have a book in me. And even if I have to write it on loo paper and sell it to my mum I will do it! Imagine if J K Rowland had given up so easy. I actually feel my adventure has two stories in it. The happy go lucky MiloandMe adventure and then the dark, depressing and often scary side of it.

Anyway on a positive note, through the wonders of social media, and I think I can thank social media for most of my adventure, I've been invited on a once in a lifetime road trip in June. It's the rust 2rome trip http://www.rust2rome.com/route.html . Basically three men and a lady (I'm the lady btw) in a £500 car on a ten day journey through the Swiss Alps. What could go wrong? The fact that I thought we were going to the Sahara and then the French Alps is a bit worrying! But I do believe I'll make a wonderful co pilot, if I can find my way out of France...

Written by me...

An exciting adventure...

One of the roads on route...

I'll never give up on my dreams...

Where the heck am I...

This weekend there were four teenage Le Garçons in the house so I took this as a sign to go exploring in the Beast. The Beast has been tucked up and was raring to go. We didn't go far, just about an hour away in Alecon. It's a beautiful place with some lovely architecture. I parked up in the centre and observed the buildings. I couldn't quite figure out what the large building in front of me was and was sure the men outside were religious. Curiosity got the better of me and I approached them and asked. They told me it was a court house and that they were lawyers. My word they were well dressed lawyers. And smoking in uniform. Somehow the French manage to make smoking look sexy.

I sat in a few coffee shops and did my favourite pastime, people watching. I must say the French people do dress well. It's all quite chic and tapered with attention to detail, be it a coordinated scarf  or a fancy hat. The town centre was pretty quiet so I walked the whole of it with Milo, which took ages as he wanted to sniff every corner. We only got lost once which was good going for me. It seems to be that every coffee I ordered came with a little kinder sweetie, nice.

All the campsites in France seem to be closed until at least March. I did find one in Alencon, but it too was closed. But it had a couple of bays outside the site with access to free water and electricity, bonus. And I was able to sneak into the campsite and walk Milo so not all bad. Frustratingly in France there is little, if none, free wifi. Even when I can see it on my settings they won't give you a password. But it was enjoyable being off grid for the weekend, finished reading my book and got some writing done. Slept like a baby too, although on awakening did have that split second 'where the heck am I?'...

Maybe I should dress like the girl behind me...

Not priests, just my lawyer friends...

If I looked like a giraffe...

Kinder treats...

Parked up...

Parking the right side of the law...