Shit, it's a dead cat...

Hooray the clocks have gone back, I can see, the mornings are lighter. Couldn't come quick enough for Milo and me as I nearly made a big fool of myself yesterday morning. We were driving down the road towards the woods when I spotted a dead cat lying in the road. I slowed down ready to stop, pullover and knock on a few doors asking if anyone was missing a moggy? As I got closer I soon realised the dead cat was infact a pile of horse manure! Could have received some very funny looks trying to cradle that in my arms.

The woods are beautiful this time of year, all golden and warm colours yet cold and breathtaking. We love Autumn. I love watching the geese fly off to warmer climates and wish I was travelling with them on their adventure. I think it's time I planned another adventure for MiloandMe. I kind of like the idea of going back to the West Coast of Scotland but am not sure the Beast could stand the cold. Every few days his engine battery is flat and it's not even that cold yet. Not sure what that's all about.

Poor Milo is now hiding in the bedroom having heard a firework in the distance. So I've made him a little den to feel safe in and am playing him some soothing music in the background. It's like this every year but it still breaks my heart...

Autumn in the woods...

Migrating South...

Milo in his den... 

Milo and The Milk Tray Man...

I for one can't wait for the clocks to fall back an hour. Milo and me have got into a routine of our daily walk being at about 7am. Unfortunately for the last few weeks it has been extremely dark in the woods at 7am, I can't see where I'm going (story of my life!). Milo doesn't care and insists on waking at 6.30 for his breakfast and then mithers me until I agree to venture out. He does everything that he knows will annoy me: empty the bin; eat my socks; steal my slippers, just to get me out of the armchair.

This morning though he was very quiet. He was up to something. He was lurking around looking rather suspicious. And it appears he was up to something, he has been online and entered me into a competition! He has put me forward to be the recipient of a box of Cadburys Milk Tray chocolate delivered by himself, accompanied by The Milk Tray Man. They will both go on a mission, risking life and limb, to deliver said chocolates to me. I, of course, will be waiting deep in the woods in my log cabin lying by a log fire looking suitably gorgeous praying for their safe arrival.

 Now I appreciate The Milk Tray Man and I won't live happily ever after, what with him having to carry out these missions on a daily basis, but if only for a moment I will get a taste of this. And of course the chocolate...

Milo ready for his mission...

I think I hear their helicopter approaching...

Ready for my chocolates...

Hoping for mission accomplished...

A Tinder has-been living alone in the woods...

I want to live in the woods. I really don't mind where the woods are as long as I'm surrounded by them. I will live there with my husband and Milo. My husband will operate as a secret service spy and will go away for weeks at a time on top secret spy missions. Occasionally I will meet up with him at worldwide locations for a romantic hotel rendezvous, otherwise I will wait upon his return to our house in the woods.

On this note I have joined Tinder. I've not quite met James Bond yet but I've had some interest. I took some professional advice regarding how to work Tinder and was told to always swipe right. Apparently men take rubbish photos of themselves and aren't very good on description. Well after a day of much swiping right I'm now receiving some pretty weird messages and have decided I'm going to have to be a bit more selective in my swipe right motion. I have had one date so far and it went ok. He turned up. We then arranged to meet up for dinner on a second date but I got a bit greedy and arranged to meet another date two hours before him. Saves on petrol I thought. Anyway to cut a long story short I got a bit confused as to which one I was messaging and got my times a bit mixed up when date two asked to alter the time. At which point they both had to cancel and I had no dates and nothing to eat for my tea. At this rate I will be living in the woods like a has-been Goldilocks/Little Red Riding Hood...

Me waiting for James Bond...

My house in the woods... 

Milo collecting fire wood...

Help me out here Tinder...

London girl...

Today is my sons 30th birthday and he is in Rome with his girlfriend. I bought him a suitcase. I would have preferred to buy a ticket and fly out to surprise him but I don't think he would have been too impressed with that! I can't believe he's thirty already, he's my pride and joy, my biggest achievement. It only feels like yesterday that I was in hospital in London, during the Big Storm, staring at this funny little fella in a plastic box next to my bed. I did wonder if I'd be a good enough mum and if he'd turn out alright. I think we've both surpassed my expectations. Even if he does think I'm a nutty mum :)

I went to London this week on a little day trip. There was a reason for my journey but it's top secret and if I tell you I have to shoot you. And I don't have a gun. I travelled down on a Virgin train and rather enjoyed overhearing the various conversations of the other travellers. Other people's lives are so interesting. I did a bit of sight seeing round the Marylbone area and visited a famous bookshop called The Daunt. I was a little bit naughty and placed a picture of MiloandMe over a book cover in the travel section. Just to see what it looked like. A girl can dream. Hopefully my dream will come true one day. I paid £3.30 for a small latte, wandered through Regents Park, tried to enter what I thought was a popular looking bar full of men which on closer inspection turned out to be student facilities and then walked to Euston station where I ate in a little back street Italian restaurant. I love London. I could be a London girl.

I am now back on the Wirral, Milo ate one of my slippers, the Beast has a flat battery and I have blisters on my feet...

Thirty years ago...

London girl...

The Daunt bookshop...

My ambition,  second shelf... 

Happy Birthday Milo...

It was Milo's 5th birthday on 3rd October.  And I forgot. I'm such a bad mum, I only realised when I got one of those facebook memories showing his first birthday. I'd been out most of the day shopping and getting my hair cut (of which my mum and sister said it doesn't look any shorter! see pic!). Anyway I made it up to him and took him off in the Beast for an adventure. Although I'm not so sure he enjoyed it. It's been so long since we slept in the van and he kept sitting by the door waiting to get out. We only went down the road so that's probably what confused him.

I chose a really quiet location, plied Milo with biscuits and a tin of sardines I'd brought back from France and snuggled down on the couch with him. Then the noise kicked in. Our peaceful location felt like being parked next to a motorway once the farmer started ploughing the field. This went on until about 1am. Somehow I managed to sleep through most of the night, only waking up once, as I'd chosen to sleep in my clothes under the duvet and 3 blankets my fleecy lined leggings had to be removed. But sleeping in the overhead cabin bunk it felt a bit like getting undressed inside a coffin. I could see Milo's bemused look in the moonlight watching this activity.

We woke up quite early as Milo had vomited up last nights snacks all over the carpet. We then headed down to the beach and our favourite cafe the White Owl. Then we packed up the Beast and went back to Pips. It was only a short trip in the Beast but it made me realise how much I miss him. If I could afford to I'd drive round in the Beast forever...

It is shorter...

Waking up the Beast...

Zoom in to see Milo...

Our favourite cafe... 

Can my ugly mug attract Mr Right...

I really should look in a mirror before I leave the house in future. Yesterday, as usual, I threw on my coat and wellies (sometimes on top of my pyjamas) and headed to the woods with Milo. When we got out the car Milo dropped his ball which rolled between the feet of three men discussing which route they were about to jog. Hmm, I thought, as I leant in to retrieve the ball. They all stopped talking and just stared at me, for more than a few seconds. I smiled and went on my way. Then I raised my hand to move my hair out my face and that is when I realised I had not removed the previous evenings face mask. No wonder they were staring at me, my face was just a mass of white sticky goo. I must have looked like something from a horror movie!

Milo has had quite a good week. Pips boyfriend bought him a squeaky duck, well it was squeaky until he ripped it's insides out. I've also found a lovely new coffee house and Milo loves it too. It's called The White Owl and is in a beautiful location in Thurstaton.
I had a shopping day with my son and his girlfriend yesterday and my son very kindly offered to buy me some new wine glasses... See photo!

And on a final note I've joined Tinder! I tried it a few years ago and wasn't successful finding love haha. But I'm giving it another shot. It's a bit gruesome to be honest. Like looking at someone's face and then just binning them. Why do men wear sunglasses in their pics? They may as well just put a bag on their head. And don't get me started on the weirdo pics including carpets, underpants, bathroom selfies, seriously too close close ups etc etc. Anyway I've had over a thousand likes so fingers crossed the odds are in my favour, or the oddballs are...

Milo's Duck...

What's left of the duck...

Our new haunt...

My drink problem... 

I can't remember how to flirt...

My Beast is rusty. I fear I have neglected him. I'm finding bits of him on the floor and am feeling guilty for not sorting this out earlier. Admittedly he is pretty old and his rust bits probably compare to my wrinkles, suggesting we've both had a good life. But it's now time to organise some tlc for the Beast, my facelift will just have to wait. I'm pretty handy at sprucing up the inside of my van but when it comes to the mechanics of it I'm rather ignorant. Bubble gum and tippex will not work apparently. I'm going to have to pay for it.

Last weekend I got to go and watch some stock car racing in Broughton. I saw this as an opportunity to mix with some possible, potential, eligible bachelors. So I washed and blow dried my hair, put on some makeup and wore my favourite black suede, high heeled boots. And what a fool I looked! The heavens opened and the field was just a pure mud bath. I stepped out of the car and sank straight into the mud then I had to squelch through the field, tottering on my heels with rat tail hair flapping in my face smudging my mascara into panda eyes. It appeared I was the only person not wearing wellies and overalls that day.

Yesterday I chose my location more carefully for my manhunt. The World Museum in Liverpool. Not a great choice as very few people there, so Pip and I decided to head to the Albert Dock and treat ourselves to a sneaky glass of wine. The bar we chose was full of men, wall to wall. And this is the moment I discovered I've forgotten how to flirt! I just sat there like a lemon not knowing what to do. I've been single far too long and am going to have to look into flirting lessons, if there is such a thing...

Still love my old Beast...

Stuck in the mud...

Museum trip...

Failing at flirting...

Planning a wedding...

This week I went to a a meeting about the Law of Attraction. It was through the meetup.com website and I pursuaded Pip to come with me by bribing her with the pub first. We went to Dr Duttons pub and sat in the window seat with a bottle of wine and some fabulous 'people watching' entertainment. Then we headed for Liverpools Central library for our meeting. It began with some sort of cleansing excersise and then everyone in the circle had to introduce themselves. Introductions of "hi I'm Fred and this is my first meeting" "hi I'm Mary and I've been to four meetings" etc. When it got to my turn I blurted out "hi I'm Nicci I'm an alcoholic and I'm in the wrong meeting!" They let me stay. They were a lovely bunch of people and I totally believe in the 'you get back what you put out' concept.

I've had a lovely week with Milo too. The weather has been kind to us and granted us some bonus walks. Besides shredding toys, chasing cats, hiding from me and disturbing outdoor theatre performances he's been pretty well behaved this week. Milo is my perfect little partner in crime!

I've had some lovely coffee catch ups lately with old friends and new. I've done lots more research on book publishing and am no further forward. The hardest bit is just getting your foot in the door. But I will persevere.
Oh and I did one of those facebook apps and apparently I'm getting married on 15th December this year.  Best hurry up and find myself a groom...

Just a wee drink...

Milo being Milo...

Rapunzel, when will my Prince arrive...

And The Lord said take vitamin B and wear nice cardigans...

Ever since I watched the amazing TV series Broken I've had an absolute urge to go to church. So this morning I did. I went to Holy Communion at my local St Bartholomews. Now as I haven't been to church since I was a child at Sunday school I had no idea what to expect. The church is beautiful inside and out, it has a gothic theme. The vicar was a lady (not quite Sean Bean) and made me feel very welcome. And he's a very popular guy, God that is not Sean Bean (although I'm sure Sean is too) Everybody had only good things to say about him.  I'm not actually religious as such but I can understand how and why people have faith, in whatever religion that may be. I suppose it's like having a best friend that nobody can see. You can call on your faith at any point in your life.

The two little ladies sitting behind me kept me in toe. When I was the only person left sitting in the pews they encouraged me to join the congregation in Holy Communion. I was then instructed to kneel at the alter and asked if I 'normally receive?' I just answered no and was duly blessed. All very exciting. Then before I left a little lady tapped me on the shoulder and said "thou shalt not covet, but I love the cardigan you're  wearing" I googled this commandment when I went home and read 'You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.' No mention of cardigans. I think I might go to church again.

I'm feeling a lot more positive of late. I did go through a period of sluggishness and was feeling constantly tired and sad. I was suffering with stomach pains and headaches. I did a little research and am now taking Alflorex and a vitamin B complex and feel like I've got my life back! Sounds dramatic I know, but I really feel great.

So, odd blog today. Found a guy called God and vitamins to boot. Now all I need is a husband to
share  my crazy life with, think I may have just made many men run for the hills...

Saint Bartholomews so pretty...

The nice cardigan...

Milo wearing Pips slippers...

Milo eaten Pips slippers...

Dear Vladimir Putin...

I've had one of those daft ideas week this week. I think talking to Love Guru James Preece has got me  into a positive mindset. Or maybe not. I began by writing to Vladimir Putin. I've always wanted to go to Russia and thought being a guest of his would be the best way to go. He hasn't replied. Yet.
Then when I was filling up with petrol I noticed one is able to advertise on the handle of the petrol pump. So all I need to do is pop a photo of me on it with my contact details stating the fact that I am single and looking for love. Hmmm, £75 per week for a minimum of four weeks seems a tad expensive to get a date. So I've joined a free website called meet up.com where I might meet likeminded crazy people at various local events. My first event booked is a meeting in Liverpool based on the Law of Attraction. I'm hoping I'll get to learn some skills and make some poor soul marry me!

I truly need to turn my life around as I'm working so hard just now and all I'm getting is holes in my socks.
Milo has had a good week, he's had lots of bonus walks (probably attributed to holes in socks) and even got to attend a local dog show today. It was held in Hoylake and he was quite well behaved. He even won a rosette in the behaviours category. Although as we were collecting our rosette he spotted some biscuits on the display table and nabbed the lot. We also entered the six legged category (mine being the extra two legs) but I think the fact that Milo recognised the judge as the vet who chopped his balls off did us no favours.

We travelled to the dog show in the Beast and now I've got the urge to go off somewhere in it. I think once the schools are back I might plan a mini adventure, how far is Russia...

Milo with his rosette...

Six legs... 

So well behaved... 

Call me... 

Need to turn my life around...

I think I'm going to just Be...

I think I think too much. I spend all day thinking, I go to bed thinking and I wake up thinking. I have so many thoughts running through my head I lose track of the original thought. I think about the past, the present and the future. When I try to stop thinking I only start to think about what I'm not thinking about. So I'm going to stop thinking and just Be. I think.

This is all most likely down to the fact that I've had two wonderful years of adventure and now I've stopped. I'm not on a journey anymore and I'm at a loss. I feel it all happened so quickly I wonder if it happened at all. I'm probably just sulking that the party's over and in my head I'm still dancing. Like Cinderella I forgot about the midnight curfew. Which is quite ironic as I'm working as a cleaner, living with my sister and praying my Prince Charming will turn up with my glass slipper! Although my glass slipper is more of a Wellington boot, my sister is not ugly and I don't have small woodland animals helping me clean.

Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to be receiving some help from Love Guru James Preece. I can't find Prince Charming on my own and I can't be chucking welly boots at random men in the woods. So I've enlisted professional help and I'm feeling quite positive... I think...

Always dancing...

Professional help...

Off to London I go...

Oh my what a quiet life I'm leading just now. I've been caring for my mum who has just had her second hip operation. She is doing really well in her recovery and could be running a marathon at this rate. I've also been spending a fair amount of time in my Motorhome writing my book. I've been driving it about half a mile down the road and parking up to just sit and write. The main reason being so that I have no internet connection. I have a terrible habit of sitting down to write and two hours later I've googled my perfect dream house, joined dating websites, found a delicious recipe for baked semolina pudding and read everyone's facebook updates.

On the subject of the dating website: twenty four hours later I unsubscribed. I'd chosen one inline with my age group. I don't like my age group. They're old! Now I don't particularly want a toy boy but I certainly don't want to date my granddad. My birth certificate puts me in my fifties but my heart is sadly stuck in my twenties.

On the subject of my perfect dream house: it's in the woods, I own the woods, there is a stream, it's surrounded by countryside, the beach is a walk away, there is a vegetable garden and there is a large sunny porch to sit on and write my book. I drew a picture of my house. One day I will live in that house.

On the subject of facebook: it's full of ridiculous competitions.

On the subject of baked semolina pudding: I ate the whole lot and it was delicious.

Next week I'm off to London. I'm going to visit my dear Uncle Ernie. Uncle Ernie is 96 years young and was my dads best friend. He reminds me of my dad. He is full of stories from the past and
portrays such an interesting outlook on the present...

My view whilst writing...

Sketch of my dream house...

The ridiculous things you see on facebook...