A Tinder has-been living alone in the woods...

I want to live in the woods. I really don't mind where the woods are as long as I'm surrounded by them. I will live there with my husband and Milo. My husband will operate as a secret service spy and will go away for weeks at a time on top secret spy missions. Occasionally I will meet up with him at worldwide locations for a romantic hotel rendezvous, otherwise I will wait upon his return to our house in the woods.

On this note I have joined Tinder. I've not quite met James Bond yet but I've had some interest. I took some professional advice regarding how to work Tinder and was told to always swipe right. Apparently men take rubbish photos of themselves and aren't very good on description. Well after a day of much swiping right I'm now receiving some pretty weird messages and have decided I'm going to have to be a bit more selective in my swipe right motion. I have had one date so far and it went ok. He turned up. We then arranged to meet up for dinner on a second date but I got a bit greedy and arranged to meet another date two hours before him. Saves on petrol I thought. Anyway to cut a long story short I got a bit confused as to which one I was messaging and got my times a bit mixed up when date two asked to alter the time. At which point they both had to cancel and I had no dates and nothing to eat for my tea. At this rate I will be living in the woods like a has-been Goldilocks/Little Red Riding Hood...

Me waiting for James Bond...

My house in the woods... 

Milo collecting fire wood...

Help me out here Tinder...