Mamma never told me...

When I was younger my mother warned me 'it all goes south when you hit your fifties'. My mother did not give me enough information ~ it's gone south, east and west. My muffin top resembles saddle bags on a miniature pony, in such a short space of time I've expanded in all directions. I now understand the term 'middle age spread' but I did not see this coming. How did this happen? Oh, yes, chocolate! A lot of it. Everyday. The light in my microwave went out today. As I stood watching my coffee cup turn in a dark and confined space I thought - this is my life. I'm turning but nobody can see me. I'm heating up but nobody knows. I'm ready to be tasted but nobody cares. I am an abandoned coffee cup! Slightly melodramatic I know, but that's how I feel. Having tasted freedom, adventure and excitement, my life is now confined in a box. And it's dark! People tell me this is real life, this is how it is, this is what you do. So, everyday I go through the motions: I wake, I commute to work, I do my job and I return home to sleep and do it all again. But. In my head I'm having an adventure! I wake each morning imagining today is the day it all changes, my commute is a journey of scenarios for the day ahead; I might save the life of a child about to fall onto the tracks, I might buy a winning lottery ticket at the corner shop, I might meet the man of my dreams walking through the city centre, I might receive an email offering me the job of my dreams. It's all possible, I tell myself.

Meanwhile, Milo is injured. He encountered some nasty barbed wire in the woods and is now sporting stitches, covered with a rather fetching dog sock. He is not a happy chappy but is receiving an overload of tlc. I also got to overload my gorgeous granddaughter with tlc last week when we had our first ever sleepover ~ she is certainly the cutest button in the box and she makes my whole world worthwhile...

Ready to start my day...(and yes, I have had all my hair chopped ~ life is an adventure!)

Poor Milo :/...

Always brightens up my day...

Workin' 9-5, what a way to make a livin'...

Well I've done nearly 3 weeks in my new job, although with the bank holidays they have all been rather short weeks. I have a love/hate relationship with my job; I love that they pay me (well hopefully they will eventually!) but I hate that I have to turn up everyday Haha! The people I work with are lovely and when I manage to get my head round what is expected of me I'm sure I'll settle in nicely. The journey into work everyday is somewhat entertaining; public transport is a whole new adventure for me, I love people watching and the conversations I overhear are like 'book fodder'. I spend my first hour every morning strolling in the woods with Milo, I don't see a soul and the silence is golden. Then I'm engulfed in a world of chaos, caught amongst the hoards of people weaving through the city like ants in a hurry. I know which I prefer.

Milo's little world has also changed recently. Pip has a new kitten. The new kitten is a mini replica of Pips big cat, who Milo is already terrified of, and Milo seems to think the tiny new kitten is equally terrifying. Hopefully Milo will get used to this scampering little mite eventually! Or, like me, Milo will be praying for a new adventure on the horizon to carry us away to a happy ever after...

Workin' 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by
It's all takin' and no givin'
In the same boat with a lot of your friends
Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in
And the tide's gonna turn
And it's all gonna roll you away

Sadly, this week, Gran passed away. Gran was a huge part of my life during my adventures in Portugal and I feel blessed to have been a part of her life.  Gran has certainly gone to heaven with many of my secrets...

How my day begins...

Off to work I go...

Milo's companions whilst I'm at work...

God Bless You Dearest Gran...

Sex in the (Liverpool) City...

Yeay! I got a job, a proper real grown up one haha! I've been through the whole interview process - written tests, groups, one-to-one and shadowing and now I start work tomorrow as an administrator for a big law firm in Liverpool city centre. My days will now be; wake even earlier than normal, walk Milo wearing my pyjamas, change into business attire, travel on public transport, arrive at big glass office and sit at computer  all day doing 'work stuff'. I must admit I am slightly nervous, like starting a new school, but am also looking forward to it. Over the years I've made so many new friends whilst travelling, some I've never met and some I'll probably never see again. But in my new job I will hopefully make friends for keeps. And maybe it will be like 'Sex in the City' (Liverpool not New York!) and I'll meet my Mr Big haha!

It's probably about time I sorted my life out and stopped day dreaming about a happy ever after. I mean for goodness sake I'm a Grandmother now - I have responsibilities! I have no regrets about my MiloandMe adventures and I certainly have an abundance of stories to tell my Granddaughter about. And I always say never say never; there's always another adventure to be had if you want one. But, for now, I will conform and be a grown up and hopefully not get caught photocopying my boobs in the office mwhaha! (do they even have photocopiers nowadays??!)...


Sorry Milo, can't play till the weekend...

Sorry Harper, can't play till the weekend...

Probably me on day one...

Age is just a number... Isn't it?...

I was never one to think my age mattered in life. That is until recently. I'm currently looking for a job and it appears my age does matter. The first thing a prospective employer wants to know is how old I am? Well the answer is 'I am old enough to apply for the job and young enough to do the job'. But it seems, on paper, I am not even worthy of an interview. Also the negative comments I received online from appearing on This Time Next Year all seem related to my 'age'. Yes I've got wrinkles, poor eyesight and grey hairs but why should this matter to a complete stranger? People nowadays are far too fixated with age and looks. Stop it! Remember we're all just living our 'one life' :)

My life at the moment moves forward with no job, no partner and no home. And the one I crave the most is the home. I'm eternally grateful to my family for providing a roof over my head but not having your own 'front door' is the hardest. I don't think we appreciate what we have unless it's gone. I touched on homelessness in my Book Two ~ it's a stark fact and everyone is vulnerable to it.

On a happy note (because irrelevant of the above my life is good! x) my granddaughter is thriving and starting to smile at the world. Milo is not at all bothered by all the rain of late and flits between hiding in bushes or wallowing in streams on our walks. And I'm enjoying posting all my YouTube videos of my year filming This Time Next Year. I never get to find out who watches them, same as I never get to find out who reads my books, but hopefully someone out there is enjoying an 'old bird' making a fool of herself...

Links to my life ... ;)

My Husband Hunt Dating Diary

Milo, Me and The Beast


My Good Life...

And for my next trick... YouTube..

Milo came across fantastic on the TV, mostly just looking up at me as if to say 'WHAT are you doing?!' haha! I've received some of the usual backlash from trolls - 'state of her' 'desperate hag' 'dating at funerals' etc. (for the record it was a family funeral and a wonderful celebration of life).  But I don't care, I had loads of fun on This Time Next Year and everyone was so lovely to me. At least I can say I got off my backside and had a little fun :)

As far as trying to find my perfect man I've decided to 'stop looking - but not to stop wanting' if he does exist so be it, if not so what! Life is good and has treated me well, I can say the last few years have been fabulous, I've been extremely fortunate ~ Full story in my TWO books ;)) and Book One is FREE until Sunday! Please leave a review if you do happen to read it, I would be so grateful.
Milo, Me and The Beast

I've decided to have one more bit of fun... I'm doing a video diary on YouTube. During the year of 'This Time Next Year' I filmed nearly one hundred videos documenting my dating disasters. This was obviously cut down to about four minutes for TV. So my videos are just sitting here feeling quite redundant :( Which led me to think 'Why not show the world how bloomin difficult it is to date in your fifties?!' If you want to subscribe to my YouTube channel you can see how much effort I did actually put into my year between those two doors. Disclaimer: it's not pretty!!

So life goes on. I will constantly ask myself 'Why am I me?' and I will never know the answer...

my husband hunt dating diary

Exposing my nether regions, but thankfully not on TV...

This week I had a hospital appointment for an exploratory investigation of my bladder. Not something I was looking forward to but needs must. Having waited over four hours, laid on my bed watching 'Dirty John' on Netflix (which could easily put the faint-hearted off dating for life!)  I was finally wheeled through to the theatre in my sexy ensemble of hospital gown, paper knickers and paper hat. I was then given a local anaesthetic and instructed to lay back, legs akimbo, as the camera was set up. As if that wasn't bad enough the machine then chose to malfunction.  I lay there for about twenty minutes, surrounded by four men and two women whilst they all took turns to tweak the equipment ~ wires were unplugged, re-plugged, wiped with tissues, blown on, jiggled a bit and swopped around. All the while I'm lying there; somewhat exposed, my hips in spasms and my knees twitching, and silently praying none of them look at my face and have a recollection on Tuesday night whilst watching This Time Next Year!

Milo is uber excited for his TV appearance on Tuesday, I'm sure he's told all his doggy pals in the woods about it. I'm hoping he's also mentioned his co-authoring in writing Book Two The Middle... and we sell millions of copies and live happily ever after haha!

On a sad note a good man I know lost his life today, he fought a good fight and is now at rest. His taker was prostate cancer, the same taker of my Daddy. Please, if there are any men reading this ~ listen to your body and take care of yourself, life is precious...


Milo, waiting in anticipation...

Look after yourselves boys...

The Middle of my midlife crisis...

I've done it, I've finally finished my book two: Milo, Me and The Beast The Middle... I have to admit it wasn't any easier second time round; the adventure or the book! But wouldn't life be boring if it was all so easy?  I did have a tremendous amount of help on book two from Milo; as my co author, with each chapter including an input from Milo explaining his side of the story during our adventure. And I must say; Milo says it like it is!

Book two tells of our adventure in Ireland, Portugal, France and more. Living in our motor-home, the Beast, and of my various dating disasters. I've probably missed loads out because I still can't quite believe all I've fitted into these last few years. It's certainly been an adventure; although Milo might interpret that differently! Now that I've written The Beginning and The Middle I guess I should be thinking about writing The End but I don't want it to end!

My publication date for book two is 26th February, which 'coincidentally' is the day Milo and Me are appearing on the TV show This Time Next Year! This could pan out as good or bad... Good as in: someone might like to find out a bit more about Milo and Me. Bad as in: I make such a fool of myself I'll need to go into hiding for the rest of my life!  Anyway, as they say, you get one life, and I intend to make the most of mine...

Book One FREE promotion starting 26/02/2019

Book Two available 26/02/19

Milo, Me and The Beast - always making the most of life :)

This Time Next Year...

So the cat is out the bag! (don't tell Milo!) Having received a fair few messages this week, I thought I had best set the record straight; Yes! that is my ugly mug popping up on your TV screens ~ just as you're about to make a cuppa in the ad break. Yes! that is me declaring, in my poshest accent, my pledge to Davina ~ This Time Next Year  'I'd like to have a husband'...
I'm sorry I was unable to mention this previously but I was sworn to secrecy by the Twofour production team who threatened to shoot me if I told anyone (joke). I have wanted to blog about it since the beginning of filming but obviously didn't want to spoil the surprise outcome of my pledge. So, for anyone who may be interested; my pledge will be broadcast on ITV at 8pm on Tuesday 26th February.

The last two weeks I've spent most of my time adoring my beautiful newborn granddaughter. I just can't get enough of her, I'm sure her mummy and daddy are sick of the sight of me; but I don't care. Children grow up far too quickly so I have to make the most of her while I can.

It's been so cold this week I've been wrapped up like the abominable snowman when walking Milo and then sitting on top of the radiator when I return. My legs constantly sport the tinky tartan look lately. Milo adores the snow and loves to dive through it like a mini snowplow. Anyway, even when the snow does eventually clear up, I might keep my abominable snowman look; if only as a disguise...

Just another crazy day in my world...

Just can't get enough of this little cherub...

Always my number one :)...

Welcome to the world dear granddaughter...

The day finally arrived and my beautiful, darling granddaughter, Harper Grace, took her first breath in this world and said hello. Well, not quite hello, more like a little squeak, but oh my, what a cute little squeak she spoke. She is perfect, just utterly perfect, and I am overwhelmed with love for her already. Her mummy and daddy became instant doting parents and it is such a joy to see the three of them together. My heart strings pull a little tighter every time I see my son holding his daughter in his arms, I am so blessed.

I now have to go through the process of reigning in my granddaughter cravings and not become an overbearing Nanna. If I had my way, I'd be camped out on her doorstep every day, just to get another little peek at her. Milo has yet to meet her, but I'm sure when he does he will be just as much in love with her as I am.

Other than my granddaughter, my world consists of very little at the moment. I think I've got those January blues, which I'm sure will pass soon enough. I think I just need to concentrate on what is, as opposed to what isn't ~ in my life. On a positive note, I've nearly finished my book two: Milo, Me and the Beast ~ The Middle. I had some help on this from Milo; as book two also includes the written prose of his interpretation, on the adventures of Milo, Me and the Beast...

2019 - it's all about how we perceive it...

Well that's 2018 done and dusted. I can't say it was my best year so far, looking back I feel like I just stumbled through it and achieved very little. Which now makes me even more determined to put some extra effort in to 2019. I don't plan to make any life changing decisions: I believe they usually happen when you least expect them. But I do plan to enjoy all that I have, just a little bit more.

I believe, of all the senses we possess, perception is the one which controls our life. It's not 'what' is in our life but 'how' we perceive it.
We see, hear, smell, taste and feel. And it is how we perceive those senses, in our mind, that will dictate how we live our life. So, with all that happens within this world we live, I intend to;

Seek out the golden, rising sun above the war torn and damaged city.
Hear the song of the swallow, nesting in the last tree of the over-felled forest.
Smell the new shoots of barley emerging from the flood damaged field.
Taste all the flavours of the meal, when others go hungry.
And, touch the hearts of the damaged and broken people around me.

On a lighter note! This actually happened to me this week and I'm still laughing out loud.
I was coming out of the bank in Heswall and my sister Pip was parked out front, waiting for me. I jumped into the passenger seat, shut the door and proceeded to put on my seat belt... when, from the driver seat this big, deep male voice said "wrong car!". I sh*t myself! There was an old man looking even more shocked than me, and there was Pip parked in a very similar car in front. It could have, potentially, been even funnier, as sometimes when I jump into Pips car, I like to shout out "Go, Go, Go!" Like a wannabe bank robber...

As yet I haven't taken a decent photo this year, so, just some of my favourites of last year...

Local Grandmother caught shoplifting...

This work malarkey is not good for my health. I am seriously missing the daylight hours and my long walks with Milo. I go to work in the dark and return home in the dark, Milo struggles to find his ball when I throw it and I find myself searching for his pooh with a torch! I've had more visits to my GP lately than ever before, with one thing or another, and Milo is now on first name terms with his vet. Basically 9-5 sucks. But on a good note, I have accumulated the grand total of £5.42 in my work place pension scheme. After Christmas I will focus on finding some kind of employment that affords me to witness daylight and won't push me to an early grave.

I have a dilemma. Should I inform the family across the street that I can see them peeing in their bathroom? It's not that I go out of my way to witness this activity, but as soon as they flick on their bathroom light, my eyes are drawn to their window. It's lit up like Blackpool illuminations and they have no blinds on this window. It's like those 'ugly naked guy' scenes from the TV series Friends in my house; 'he's brushing his teeth', 'he's taking a shower', 'ew, he's picking his nose'...

I'm now on countdown days for the arrival of my granddaughter. It could be before, during or after Christmas, but as long as she's healthy I don't care what day she chooses to arrive in this world. I did come to realise recently that when I read those type of headlines saying 'local grandmother victim of crime - caught shoplifting - speeding' and you immediately conjure up that image of a poor little, grey haired, vulnerable old person and think 'aw, poor little old lady'. Well, that little old lady could be me - at the grand old age of 52...

Milo just about catching daylight...

Grandmother mugged in her own home...

Grandmother caught shoplifting...

Grandmother caught speeding...

Dear child of my child...

Every day, when I drive to work, my journey always appears the same. The same cars on the road, the same crowd of people stood at the bus stop, even the same man stood on the corner, every day, waiting for his lift. Nothing really changes, except the weather. I could practically do this journey with my eyes closed. And I do. I drift off into my imaginary world. Classic FM plays on my radio as the cars on the motorway weave in and out, as if dancing in perfect rhythm to the music. The young girl applying her lipstick at the bus stop will, today embark on an office romance. The older lady, hobbling on a stick will today reach the top of the waiting list for a hip replacement. And the forlorn gentleman, whose head hangs low, will today find the courage to leave his unfaithful wife. The man, who stands on the corner, never late for his lift, will today win on the lottery and purchase his own car. And I, will continue my journey, until it ends. And then, I will start a new journey. Oh how I see my wonderful world :)

In about seven weeks time my Granddaughter will take her first breath in this world. I am so excited to meet this child of my child. I will strive to be a good Grandmother to her. I will only tell her of two things; Love and Respect. Embrace all the love you receive and treat people the way you wish to be treated, with respect. I may add 'smile' and then she will discover if you smile the world smiles with you...

Smile, my Daddy told me...

Smile, I told my Son...

And keep on smiling...

That's one small step for Milo...

This is probably the longest period of time I have ever left between my blog entries. And there are a few, unexciting, reasons for this. I have just finished a 12 day stint at my very exciting (not) job. Prior to that I contracted a pretty gruesome head cold and was dosed up with medication for a while. Also, it being the 'month' of fireworks, I have spent most evenings trying to console poor terrified Milo. He hears them well into the distance and has to find a hiding place until morning, here he just cowers and shakes all night. I usually cover him with a blanket and play soft music for him, other than that there isn't much else I can do for him. As if that wasn't bad enough for poor Milo, this week he started limping, badly. His limp was so bad he was walking with only three of his legs. After spending all night watching him struggle to even sleep I took him to the vet.
He remained at the surgery for most of the day and when I went to collect him I was presented with a bill for £520 and told "nothing is broken, but we're not sure what is wrong with his paw"...
He is now sporting a trendy little moon boot, has a bottle of painkillers and a ten day course of antibiotics. He has now taken to walking around the house like Neil Armstrong.

So, not been a good few weeks for Milo and Me. But on a good note, Milo is receiving more love than usual from everybody, and I got to see my future Granddaughter punching a few high fives out of her mummy's tummy.

This week, I've even managed to write a few more chapters in my Book Two. Although, I've also just discovered the series 'American Horror Story' on Netflix and am quite addicted to the weird and wonderful world it portrays...

Remembering all the War Heroes today...

Milo's Moon Boot...

One of Milo's safe places...

My own American Horror Story...

My plan to save the planet...

Sitting in a factory postal room, all day, every day, gives a girl lots of time to think. And, I've now come up with an amazing idea on how to resolve our country's housing crisis! Basically there are far too many single people in the UK. Therefore whilst I live in 'one' house there is potentially a single gentleman out there living in 'another' house. Now, if Theresa May could plough some investment into this national crisis, of too many single people, and put in place a government run dating agency, then this would bring together all us singletons living in separate houses.  This in turn would also save the planet, everything would be halved - As we all live happily ever after, together, sharing a house, sharing a bath, sharing a shopping trip in the car, sharing the electric bill, sharing a bed, oh the list is endless! I think this is a jolly good idea and I might write to our Theresa today, she could kick start this plan by inviting me to Number 10 and introducing me to some eligible bachelors...

Meanwhile, I sit, all day, working on the factory floor, waiting patiently for my Richard Gere to whisk me away 'Officer and a Gentleman' style.

Today is my sons birthday. We are to spend the day assembling a pram, I am so excited about this. I have had my hair done in preparation! I've actually had about six inches chopped off, well overdue. Big shout out to Dave (Irby Village). Talking of shout-outs, my lovely local garage, Wirral Small Cars, (who have looked after me for many years) informed me that a couple bought a car from them recently. They chose his garage because they read about him in my book. At least someone is benefiting from the  adventure of Milo, Me and The Beast...

Milo and Me, nearly living under a park bench...

Me, waiting for my Richard Gere happy ending...

Before and after my chop...

This is Big Brother ~ Nicci please come to the Diary Room...

Earlier this year I was contacted by the producers of Big Brother asking me if I would be interested in being in this last series! Me! They asked me! They said they had researched my story and saw me as an ideal housemate, one with something to say. Well, obviously after watching last nights housemates enter the house it is apparent I'm not in there, which is a shame as free board and lodging would have been quite nice for Milo and Me. Maybe that's why they didn't choose me, because I did, at one point, ask if Milo would be able come with me? Or maybe it's down to ageism? It appears the housemate ages range from 18 to 32, perhaps a 52 year old, granny-to-be, prancing about in her bikini, would have looked out of place?! Anyway, whatever the reason is, I'm feeling pretty good with the fact that they even asked me. Although, my mum, who loves Big Brother, was mortified. "What if you use the 'F' word? "or have sex on television?" she declared. Well I rarely use the 'F' word and as for sex... another rarity in my life!

Maybe, in the future, Endemol will create a new Big Brother, one with grannies and dogs and people who haven't had much of a love life lately!
So, here I am. Not in the Big Brother house, but working in a postal room, with lots of other people, cameras on us at every angle, and my diary room is just my blog. Oh, my life...


It should have been me!!...

I reckon MiloandMe would have fitted in quite nicely...

"8.18 in the Big Brother house ~ Nicci and Milo sleep..."