Duck it's a pineapple...

I've had a lovely Christmas and can't believe it's over for another year. I got new wellies, Joules no less, new pyjamas and an electric toothbrush. I got cash from Pip which unfortunately I lost amongst the piles of wrapping paper and so spent most of Boxing Day rooting through the bins, thankfully I found it. Christmas morning we piled into the Beast and headed to my mums for dinner. I managed to take a bend far too sharply and my mums present shot off the bench and smashed onto the floor. It was a China duck and rattled when she unwrapped it. She said it's the thought that counts and placed it in the bath.

Christmas dinner was delicious, all cooked by mum. And our after dinner party game was pass the parcel wearing oven gloves. Mixed with alcohol it was all rather raucous. Milo spent most of the day eating wrapping paper and also managed to sneak a whole bowl of cheese Pringles. My mum only has one spare bedroom and my son and his girlfriend managed to bag that early on. So me Pip and her partner slept in my van on the drive. I'd bought them a pineapple plant for Christmas as it apparently stops snoring. I seriously felt like hitting them both over the head with it at about 4am!

Tinder has once again let me down and didn't provide a Christmas boyfriend. For a few days I was chatting with a gentleman quite well, who wanted to meet up, but then he just disappeared. But I met an old friend today for coffee and he has just met someone online and says he is really happy. So I won't give up yet. On a plus, my face is healing so maybe next time I'm in the woods I'll pick a huge bush of mistletoe in preparation for New Year...

Heading off for Christmas...

The next morning...

The snoring stopper pineapple plant... 

My new Joules wellies... 

MiloandMe ❤️... 

The one when George Clooney came to stay...

I've had a quiet week as far as dating goes. My face has been far too scabby to inflict upon anyone. And the pain has been pretty unbearable too. So I've pretty much hidden away all this week. This gave occasion to spend more time in the woods with Milo so he's more than happy with my gruesome  face. Unfortunately the lovely fresh snow we had at the beginning of the week has now melted and the latter half of this week has been like a Tough Mudder exercise every day.

My week has been so quiet that I persuaded Pip to hunt out that old photo of George Clooney in my van. The one when I picked him up whilst he was down on his luck and hitchhiking round the UK. Obviously, being the kind hearted female that I am, I offered him my couch for the night and put a few quid in his pocket the next day. I have heard he is now 'repaying' people from his past who were there for him in times of need. Reckon he might have forgotten about me... Haha.

My week slightly improved in that I got a facebook reminder that exactly one year ago I appeared on TV with Ardal O'Hanlon in Ireland. We were filmed with Willie the Matchmaker, matching me up with Kevin. (Not the carrot)  My face says it all. And Milo farted on camera.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yOysPBwGa8I

I've taken opportunity during my quiet week to do some more book writing. It's frustrating that one minute I love most of what I've written so far and then I hate all that I've written. Also not helped by the fact I'm writing it all on an iPad which constantly shuts down mid paragraph. Without saving...

My very sore, very scabby face...

Milo time...

Can't believe George doesn't remember this night... 

I can't even pull a carrot...

This dating malarkey is somewhat confusing. I had a date last week through the tinder app and I thought it went quite well. He was a somewhat unusual character but unusual is the type I'm generally drawn to! Anyway he took a whole week to get back in touch so I can only assume he's not really that interested in me. Another gentleman on the other hand is more than enthusiastic in his messages and was sending about ten a day, with little input from me. At one point he even messaged that he was off shopping and did I need anything?. We've never met. I could see from his profile that he lives extremely close to me so I decided it would be a good idea to meet up, just in case I'm (without knowing) walking past him every day. Anyway since I suggested this I've never heard from him again. I swear even Carrots have a more successful love life than me!

None of this is helped by the fact that I have a really scabby face just now. I have what are known as precancerous cells on my face and am having to treat them with a chemotherapy cream for eight weeks. This is the second time I have had to go through this process.  I am now at the stage where they are really painful, quite unsightly and difficult to disguise with makeup. Not a good look if one is trying to impress upon a gentleman, or even a carrot for that matter. Word to the wise take care of your young self, NEVER use sun beds and always use sunscreen. Or, like me, you will struggle to even pull a carrot.

Although, I was slightly uplifted whilst wandering through Liverpool One as I was plucked from the crowd to partake in a football competition. I guess I didn't look too repulsive that day. JD sports had on offer a £50 voucher for the most headers scored. I was dressed in my full length fur coat, six inch heels and teamed up with a lovely young, professional header, man. The other 'girl' was about 18 and wearing a tracksuit and trainers. She scored five. I scored one and even that shot into the crowd and hit an innocent bystander. No prizes for me they said but it's the taking part that counts. Therefore I will continue with this dating malarkey...

Lucky in love carrots...

My stalker...

Another of my balls-ups...

Must keep trying...