Local Grandmother caught shoplifting...

This work malarkey is not good for my health. I am seriously missing the daylight hours and my long walks with Milo. I go to work in the dark and return home in the dark, Milo struggles to find his ball when I throw it and I find myself searching for his pooh with a torch! I've had more visits to my GP lately than ever before, with one thing or another, and Milo is now on first name terms with his vet. Basically 9-5 sucks. But on a good note, I have accumulated the grand total of £5.42 in my work place pension scheme. After Christmas I will focus on finding some kind of employment that affords me to witness daylight and won't push me to an early grave.

I have a dilemma. Should I inform the family across the street that I can see them peeing in their bathroom? It's not that I go out of my way to witness this activity, but as soon as they flick on their bathroom light, my eyes are drawn to their window. It's lit up like Blackpool illuminations and they have no blinds on this window. It's like those 'ugly naked guy' scenes from the TV series Friends in my house; 'he's brushing his teeth', 'he's taking a shower', 'ew, he's picking his nose'...

I'm now on countdown days for the arrival of my granddaughter. It could be before, during or after Christmas, but as long as she's healthy I don't care what day she chooses to arrive in this world. I did come to realise recently that when I read those type of headlines saying 'local grandmother victim of crime - caught shoplifting - speeding' and you immediately conjure up that image of a poor little, grey haired, vulnerable old person and think 'aw, poor little old lady'. Well, that little old lady could be me - at the grand old age of 52...

Milo just about catching daylight...

Grandmother mugged in her own home...

Grandmother caught shoplifting...

Grandmother caught speeding...